Hallow's End

The Search:

Wednesday was planned for finishing up the last of our halloween shopping. Well Jennifer's anyways. I had nothing for my costume. I was planned to go a Captain Mal Reynolds from Firefly(AKA Captain Tight Pants, as I told everyone), If not that I was sure I could find a star trek uniform of some sort. Call me a geek, but I've been zombies and ninjas and the like, I wanted something different. Renea had been sick since my birthday, some days better than others. This seemed like a better day, so she decided to go with us. So we depart from the ranch and head in to san antonio.

We stop before hand at the whataburger me and Jen always stop at on the way back from shows and get some fries. I get two large fries. They apparently jumbo-sized the large since the last time as there were enough fries to feed 4 or 5 people and I wasn't particularly hungry at the time. I wanted to stop after but it had been decided while I was getting ready that we'd get dinner. After finding this out I agreed to stop. I'm freaking out from driving around the hellish city full of fucked up roads and traffic, so I'm mildly annoyed with the city. We get our fries, renea is trying to tell me how to get to the halloween store and I spot some healthcare place, I stated "Well that sign is fucking stupid." Jen exclaims "Geeze Jonathon, You're so pissed at this place you're taking it out on small business signs?!" Renea agrees and they give me shit while I'm trying to point out the stupid logo, but they aren't paying attention. We get close to the halloween store, Jen and Renea near at the same time shout "LOOK IT'S SUPERMAN!" I glance and realize I shouldn't so I glance back to find I'm about 5 feet from rear-ending some poor shmuck. I tell them not to tell me to look at anything while driving in SA and add that all I saw was a homeless man in blue holding a sign. Laughter ensues followed with "that was superman, not a homeless man. the sign was for the halloween store". We pull up, see the pier 1, halloween store, ross, old navy and a few other stores. I park and we get out. We head in to the halloween store, I had been here when I was like 15 but not since. A wave of nostalgia over takes me and I set out to find stuff.

I search the store, look at all the masks to see if I want to change my mind on my originally intended costume. I see a bunch of good masks but nothing that grabs me. I find a spock costume, so I know I have a back-up plan. I then commence to look for a gun and holster, I needed something for my captain outfit. I find a bunch of bullshit for small kids, some have a place for a belt, others don't. I round up Jen and renea, Jen couldn't find the glasses she wanted so we decide to split. On the way out I found a Pirates of the carribean gun that looks damn near perfect. The guns on Firefly look like the old guns from the pirate times, only they shoot high powered lazer bullets.

We head to old navy where I decide to look for a coat such. I cant find a single damn long coat. They're all regular coats. Renea shows me to the discount spot, I find some socks for like 50 cents, so I get a few pairs of socks. Spot some shirts and none will work. after awhile we split and then head on down to ross(I believe it was). We head in to there I finally find a good coat selection, but I still cannot find a single god damn long coat. Renea starts feeling bad and goes to wait in the truck. I spend 20 minutes in there with Jen looking for 50's looking dresses. They have to have polka-dots at that. Jen spots a purple one that is perfect but in a size 11 or 12 or something. What size she needed I don't remember but I spot one. She grabs it and a few others, tries them on and comes back, asks me about another size, which I also find and she tries it on. It works perfectly. I had found a nice pinstrip long-sleeve for work on sale for $9. So I grab that and we check out.

The coat factory:

I walk back up to the halloween store to see when they close. 10pm. Good. We go and get renea, I ask her if she wouldn't mind driving me to burlington coat factory. She agrees. We arrive in a mall parking lot and renea doesn't know whats going on, so we drive to the roof which apparently is ground level with the rest of the parking lot for target and shit. We drive around, I activate my newly aquired debit card in target, which works wonderfully. Finally get to burlington and after finishing my hand rolled cig(which people gave me side-ways looks for) I put it out in the little cigarette gravle they have in front of stores and I purposely leave as much of it sticking out as possible, hoping some stoner would walk by and get excited and happy seeing a "Joint" in the ash tray. we walk in this weird as tiny hispanic guy is telling us where to go, which was dissapointing to me as I wanted to take the elevator instead of the escalator. we hit the first floor which is full of girls designer clothes, bed linens and shoes. I'm jokingly bitching and moaning at renea "I thought this was a god damn coat factory, whats with all these clothes and shoes and christmas crap?! BED LINENS?! where the hell did you take me renea, this is no coat factory."

We get up to the top floor and finally I see them. Just what I'd been waiting for. there were probably 300 coats there, unfortunately brown isn't in this season or some shit and all I need is a brown coat. I stumble acrossed one slightly too big and it looks like a coat my grandfather would wear. Also it's $100. So I walk over to the trench coats(always wanted a trench coat), but alas, no brown ones. Several hues of grey and black. Renea finds a beat up leather jacket that looks like it was for a kid but she has me try it on, doesn't fit and I need a long one. I go back to the original coat, find one like it in my size, which I discovered is a 36-short. Still can't decide though. Would I ever wear it again? For $100 I better wear it more than once. Jen and Renea said I probably would. I take a pic and txt it to mom to ask her, but she doesn't respond. We go to look at boots so I can get some, but they are all $50 and up. I said fuck that and said I could probably find some at the thrift store. Renea says the one back home has a good selection of boots. So I walk back up to the top floor to think it over one more time. Renea is feeling bad again and sits on a pile of luggage. I walk over and joke about how halloween won't even be cold and the whole winter will be warm, but they assure me I'd wear it again. I go back to the mirror and tuck in my shirt so I don't look so sloppy in it. I decide it's worth it after seeing on the tag that it was originally $250 and then higher at other stores. I drop the money and we take off back to the halloween store and old navy.

Me and Jen run in to old navy to get the Khaki Pants I had spotted that were near perfect. I grab them and search for a shirt. I finally find a nice white shirt, I wanted long sleeve but short works too. I go to check out. Me and Jen are standing there and we have this nice male cashier who's asking us various things and then comments on my shirt. I was wearing my Pillsbury shirt, it has the dough boy on it and says something like "Pinch me squeeze me take me home". He reads aloud what's on my shirt, looks at me and states "That sounds like a drunk person more than the pilssbury dough boy." I laugh and agree and we leave. We get the gun from the halloween store and walk back to what we thought was our truck. We went through 3 red trucks before finding ours. I ask renea if she wants to get food, she doesn't because I can't eat till we get home but I convince her. So we stop at panda express. It says you get two entrees, rice and eggroll all together but they were all fucked up. I wound up getting 1 entree rice and an eggroll, Jen and renea confused each other I don't even know what Jen wound up with. We were displeased and apparently the womens bathroom was so putrid Nea almost hurled in there. We stop at Barnes & Noble real quick to see if there's a movie. New movies, not even fucking special edition were $29.99. We say fuck that but I did get the Tokyo Police Club album I wanted. So we check out and head home.


Halloween:

I awake on Halloween excited and ready. It's a saturday so it's usually pretty slow. Which is good. I get all dressed up and take off. Renea had invited a girl she met friday named Alyssa, so we knew she'd probably show if no one else. James and Laura were going to drop by aswell. I arrive at the wine bar to find Ken, Kirsten and walking John there already. So I walk in and they're all hollering at me that I won't get off that easy and I have to show them, I was merely going to set down my drink and such. So I come out and show them, first thing said is kirsten telling me how my pants aren't tight, they are actually rather baggy. I can't stand tight pants, this is the tightest pair of pants I've had since I was a kid, and while the legs were a bit baggy it held my ass snuggly and I didn't need a belt to hold them up. Even so I had suspenders to help if they got worn in and slippy. They all loved it, walking John said I should dress like this every day. I didn't realize till after I bought everything that I'm in the cowboy capital, I just look like people usually look here in town. So for those I didn't want to explain to I just said I was a space cowboy. The night was good, bit slow but fairly steady at times.

Renea and Jen get there all dolled up, Renea was a gyspy and Jen was a 50s pin up model. Renea was sitting there and people were asking if they would get their fortune told, so they go over to the dollar store to look for a crystal ball. She found a bouncy ball but it was huge and clear with flakes of purple glitter, so it worked perfectly. She told my bosses mom's fortune, which was rather comical. "I see you driving in a red convertable with a scarf blowing through the wind and I also see a suitcase next to you full of money, but you better invest wisely, because I see dark clouds on the horizon that makes me think if you spend it or invest it poorly dark times will come" Galinda responds with "So I should invest it and save it for my kids?" Renea says that sounds like a good way to invest. Galinda states "But I want to spend it!" So Renea says something like "It's your money you can do what you want with it, I'm just saying I saw in the orb that you should probably invest" they both chuckle and the night presses on.

Finally I'm closing down the kitchen when Alyssa arrives, shortly after James and Laura show up, so we all sit at high top 2. I get my after work Dunkl and we all start chatting. James is telling me how he listened to part of the mix disc I made him and how he liked it. We talk movies and shows and music. Laura gets a call from her dad that he's at a halloween party if we want to come. We agree and start to finish our drinks, he calls again and tells laura there's someone dressed just like her there. We drink up and head out. We wind up there, at Gail Stone's party. I've never met gail stone but I've seen her in my bar. It was all strange and odd but enjoyable none-the-less. I run in to clay.

Clay is this crazy guy, he's probably slightly older than my dad, but the first time I met him was at the Salloon. He had been in my bar that night and I had been drinking with dad and renea and spotted him, he has a pretty good vibe to him so I walk up drunkingly and introduce myself, telling him how I work at the bar and saw him in tonight and how I liked meeting our patrons and everything. He winds up coming over and talking to us, asking me about my dreads and what kind of message I was sending and the like. He mildly freaks dad out and dad's like "Watch out for him".

The Party:

So yeah, I run in to clay at Gail Stones. We start talking, he's giving me shit as always and asks me again about my dreads. I had run in to him a week before and he asked about my dreads and I told him again, well he leans in and tells me "Next time make up a god damn good story, that's not interesting at all!" So at gail stones he's trying to help me come up with a better story. I told him I had one but as soon as the words left my mouth I realized I had totally forgotten it. I start telling him how I was an ex anarchist and after getting rid of my mohawk I was living on the streets for awhile and thats how-- "NO NO, that is not a good story Jon. Let me see have you ever been to Jamaica?" I respond with no, because I know where this would go and at a party full of people I don't know, I don't want to be rolling cigarettes and have people joke with me about joints or get mad because of it. We try to come up with another story but can't. He introduces me to another guy, slighly older than clay. "He's an old hippy. He's growing cactus on his place right now!" Great, I think to myself, Here comes the peyote. Clay starts telling a story about a sweat lodge and how he went on a vision quest with indians. I half believe it because he's just nuts but I also half think this man is full of shit. Though it wouldn't suprise me if he was telling the truth. The other guy says he never eats enough of the cactus to have a vision quest so it's more recreational. I'm nervously laughing and looking for the people I know. Jen, renea, Laura, Alyssa and James had all gone inside. Luckily they came out shortly after, they had gone to make Jack and cokes. I lose my Negra Classico or whatever it was and roll a cig. I start chatting with clay again because everyone else is involved in conversation. We start talking tequila and gail stone walks up. I mention Patrone and how I learned my lesson and she says "Oh than you probably don't want some, huh?" I tell her I would gladly take a shot of Patrone if she was. So we go take a shot, I ask if I may barrow the bathroom and she points me to it. I walk back outside, ask renea if the car's unlocked, she says no, so I say "Great!" and commence to walking. Well I realized it was locked. So I walk back and the whole crowed is laughing at me. So I get the keys and walk off. I grab the cigar Santa Dan had given me and roll a cig. I walk back smoking the cig, which probably looked bad but you can smell my smoke, it's not weed for fucks sake. I finish it light the cigar, people are leaving things are winding down. So I start talking to Jen, Alyssa and renea. Alyssa and Jen share the cigar with me and renea. We left in perfect time as the cigar was about out. We take off to drop alyssa off and I throw in some bandits. We sing a bit and drop her off. and head home.

I get home and start telling mom and dad how crazy it was and how I wound up at Gail Stone's halloween party and they die laughing. I tell them how gail stone asked my last name and I told her and she said she remembers when we moved to town. They laugh and say that they think pretty much all the old school people around town remember it, even if they didn't meet them.

Best halloween since my uncle Danny took me, Jen and my cousin alexa trick or treating ALL OVER the city when we were like 12 or 13. Kicked the hell out of the time me and Jen drug the bed in to the living room and wound up watching chocolat. Not even a horror movie, chocolat.

wunderbaren Geburtstag

T h u r s d a y/The 22nd:

I awoke feeling mildly annoyed and discontent. I realized that with my whole family being gone the week before, Jen and my parents in nashville and the two little ones in boerne, that I had forgotten to order Renea and Jen something for my birthday. When I was a wee lad it was decided that I give my sister Jennifer a gift on my birthday, as thanks for giving me a gift. It was really because as a toddler it's hard to explain to the kid that it isn't they're birthday, only the sibling gets gifts. I carry the tradition even today because I just like getting gifts for people. Even though Renea isn't my sibling and would be closer to a wife than anything, I like getting her a gift on my birthday, just so I can give her one. Mom took care of getting something for rose and carin, which sounds like a cop-out but I barely know what they like anymore and they were wanting things in the store while shopping for me, so they loved them.

I went to work knowing the day would be shit. It wasn't even my birthday yet, but things already weren't going as I had expected. My co-worker took off to canton for a trade show to sell some of the boots she makes. No fault on her end, I don't expect people to bend to my needs purely it's because my birthday and I was glad she had the chance to get out there. But it did put a damper on my requesting atleast the day after my birthday off and it especially cut out the idea to go to austin and hit up the 6th street bar scene. So I was already in the mind-set that it was all going to fall apart. Work at the bar wasn't too bad apart from me being pretty annoyed the whole time, but I tried not to let it show. It's just one of those moods thats hard for me to pull out of.

Midnight/Birthday starts:

So I get home that night, me and dad walk in and all is well. We start drinking a few beers, I'm coming off a week of being alone where I got to hook up the Peavey amp and sing my heart out with no one around. While people are around I was still getting the Jam itch. So I plug in and play some music, midnight rolls around so we all do a shot of my moms amaretto. Then it all took a turn for the worst. My dad proceeds to tell the story of my birth. Which I hate.

Birthdays don't sit well with me. They never have. My dad, owning this amazing high tech recording studio in california always had to go to Japan to record an Indy race the week of my birthday, so he missed 2, 3 and 4. Possibly even my first. While that fucked with me younger, doesn't bother me now. But it doesn't help the aspect I take thinking that everythings going to go to shit. Even when I ignore it and try to imagine the day will be great 9 times out of 10 I wind up pissed and depressed and recently usually drinking a bottle of Jack with Jen by ourselves in my house, which is great but I'm sure my family misses me sometimes.

So toward the end of his story of my birth I start arguing with him about my birthday and various things. I finally get fed up with him telling me how I ruin it for everyone, which sends me over the edge. I read this book called "Ruining it for everybody" which changed my life and ever since then I've aspired to not be "Such a shit" anymore. So I step outside for a smoke and too cool off(quite literally, it was a cold night). Mom follows me out I start talking to her about it and apologizing for always being a fucking wreck on my birthday but I can't help it. Dad comes out and I try to leave, he asks if it's him and I don't say anything and push past him, which pisses him off. I started chugging beers and don't remember all of it but that I had banned him from coming in to mulberry's the next day. I sing a few songs in-spite of everyone because I was pissed and then I shut everything down and head to my house to drink one more and sleep. I Apologize to Renea and Jen, we drink a beer throw in a movie or show and pass out.

F r i d a y/The 23rd:

I woke up suprisingly with no hang-over. Memories of the night before begin to wash over my concious while I'm staring at the ceiling and the light that hasn't worked as long as I've been alive. I wish I could fix that light... I get up, Determined that after last night I must make it up, I must be better, I must make it a glorious night.

I arrive at work. My lovely boss sandra had set up my birthday present from her and her boyfriend John at my favorite chair. It's the one closest to the kitchen so if it's slow or I'm taking a break I can still keep an eye on things. Not only that but she had set up some balloons for me. Ironically a black balloon, which everyone said suited me because of my afformentioned hate towards my own birth and birthday. So I begin to sweep as I always start out doing on fridays. Ken, Kirsten and Walking John come in and congratulate me and ask me how it is to be 21. I told them it felt good but I didn't have the time to get in to it and explain, but I had just been to the Liquor store. I had checked the mail and gotten a card from my Uncle Danny with some cash in it so I bought I nice bottle of double filtered Gentlemen Jack. I was going to get some tequila but I remembered that Mom, Dad and Jen had given me like 6 shotglasses from when they were at the Jack Daniels Distillery in tennesee. So I spot that, grab it and 4 cigars.

Work starts out slow which I was thankful for, as I wasn't hungover but a tad tired and slightly malcontent, but I knew it would be better, it had to. Besides I just got money and got a bottle of nice ass Jack. Some orders come in, I do my stuff, renea arrives. I hadn't remembered untill about 4:30 that I had banned dad from coming in. So I text him around 5, when I had the chance, to tell him he can come in and I would like for him to and apologize about the bullshittery from the night before and for being such a douche. He responds with his fatherish stuff like "you've had plenty of nights at my expense so I won't hold it against you" type stuff. I was glad. he comes in but winds up sitting acrossed the bar past the bubble because as it wasn't busy the bar was almost full. The evening was steady, I was glad. I wasn't slammed but everything was steady, perfect for passing the time so I could go home and start my birthday. It died off again, it was only my dad his co-worker Player Player(Stephen I think his name is) and Tammy who is Jeff's girly, Jeff is one of my dads other co-workers. Then all of a sudden my sisters best friend Tia shows up. She sits down next to dad and has a coke. She said she would wait for Jen before she got something else to drink. After that it was easy to assume my mom was bringing Jen in. Renea mentioned something about Jen, my mom and two sisters coming and how they should be here any minute, which I was excited for.

The night, the party:

Shortly after Renea made the comment, I'm standing by my chair and I see a figure coming up from the side door, Recognized it but wasn't sure. Sure enough it was Renea's brother Tim. So I exclaim "TIM! FUCKIN TIM!" So we shake hands, I tell him how I'm so glad he could make it and he says he's glad he could be here. He goes to say what up to Renea and my Dad. Shortly after Renea's sister Miriam shows up with 3 of her friends. So I say what up to them. I assumed they just dropped by for shits and giggles and nothing else to do. I proceed with the few orders I have. Our friend Laura shows up with her dad, I meet him and they go and get a table. Tim goes and talks with them a bit, Tim's known Laura and her Hubby James forever, though James was working that night. Then Tim winds up outside with Miriam and her friends. Shortly after it's getting slow, but I take a few glasses in the kitchen to put them in the glass holder for washing. Sandra comes in and starts asking me about the pretzles we're selling. Weird stuff like where's the salt, what do you cook them at and stuff, I tell her how I've figured out cooking them works, tell her how I figured if you put them on a plate and sprinkle the salt you can dump all the excess back in the bag and such. She keeps me in there for a few minutes.

I then walk out and hear someone say "Should we start singing?" I'm like "what?" and then it happened. I really hate being the spectacle and having everyone stare at me, but I was rather excited this time. I feel a bit... Enigmatic? No that's too over the top. I dunno I'm different from the normal here in town. I have dreads. I feel like the shit at the bar. The dready working in the kitchen just feels like part of the whole Mulberry's experience in my opinion. Especially since I roll my own cigarettes. Maybe a bit pretentious but what can I say. I loved it. Everyone was pretty much forced to look at the dread head because everyone was singing to him. I must admit I initially wanted to go back in the kitchen. But I didn't I was like Oh man you guys didn't. So I walk over to the lit cake. All of a sudden, its My dad, Tammy, Tia, Mom, Jen, the little ones and Miriams friends all singing happy birthday. I could tell that the friends weren't that amused, but atleast they made the effort. So I blow out my cake and some guy with Becky B is bitching about not having any Cheesecake. So I go and ask my family if I can get them anything. Rose and carin had raspberry italian soda's, Jen had a strongbow cider and my mom had a coke. So I'm getting them their shit and people are asking if I'm going to cut the cake. I tell them I'm getting my family drinks first.

I get the drinks and serve the whole bar except two couples some cake. There was about a quarter of it left afterwards, which didn't bother me. I don't eat sweets that often. I'm too concerned with Savory and beer. And gravy. I love gravy. Anyways, Everyone loved Jen's Carrot Cake, two ladies even came up and told her how good it was. Shortly after I shut down the kitchen and my youngest sister Carin comes in to ask me something. So I ask her if she wants to help me and she gets all excited and agrees. So I tell her to grab that broom and start sweeping while I wash the dishes up. She sweeps up the kitchen and helps me finish up and then proceeds to help me throw down the outside furniture, which she had some trouble with but was glad to help. I get inside, now off work. Write down my hours in the logbook and sit down next to Tim and Dad. I get my Tall Dunkl and the night truly begins. We weren't there long I had that one beer and a half of one because dad wasn't quite finished. Miriam and them had left, Tia was coming home with us and Tim was to follow us. Renea wound up driving Tim's truck and it was the 4 of us. Tim's truck, Mom in our truck, dad in the vette and Me, Jen and Tia in Renea's car. I stopped at the gas station. I come out with an 18 pack of lonestar and a 6 of bud lime for tia. Along with my bottle of Jack already in the car. I toss the beer in the car and say "Yeah it feels fuckin good to be 21" pump some gas and hop in and we take off. I lead, but dad winds up passing me and leaving us in the dust. Mom drives slow so I had to slow it down so I didn't lose her and Renea and tim were in the back.

Home:

We get settled in, I break out my bottle of Jack. The cigars that John(bosses boyfriend) gave me along with the bottle of 10yro Tawny Port that My boss had given me. I set it all up with a plethora of shot glasses and the night begins. I open my presents. Carin gave me a glowy keyboard, Rose gave me how I met your mother season 2 and Dad Ironically gave me a bottle of Gentleman Jack. So now I had 2 bottles of jack, all the beer and a bottle of port. My mom fell in love with the port. We took shots. I got tired of the Coffee House on Sirius and switched it to altnation. Got tired of that and threw on my own tunes. Somewhere the mic was busted out and we had a HUGE drunken sing-a-long sesh. It started out with me, then Jen joined in and tia and renea. Tim came over at some point asking about The Decemberists, so I threw them on. The whole house was singing The Decemberists. It was a grand time. Then my dad wants to sing so we do some alice in chains and something else I forget, Time was so in to it he wanted lyrics to anything so he could try and after we had Decemberists on again and he actually had the mic and Jen was leaning over by him so they could sing together and of course I'm in the kitchen belting my brains out and drinking Jack and beers and taking sips of port.

Finally everyone was getting tired around 4 so we go back to my house. We drink a beer or maybe just half. We decide to watch Firefly and throw it in. Everyone passed out pretty quick. I wake up alone in bed with renea. Tim decided to go to work, it was optional but he decided to. Jen and Tia had left, Tia had to do some photoshoot for a business one of her uncles had or something. And mom took the little ones in to boerne. So I got myself up, not as hungover as I had expected, which I was thankful for because Sandra kept telling us "Saturday is just around the corner, you can party then, just hold off till then!" But I couldn't. I didn't over-do it, I made a point for that. But I did go a tad overboard friday night. Saturday was good, tad slow for my taste but it was good and even better since I wasn't dead hungover. Hell it felt more like sinus pressure than a hangover, but I'm sure the drinking didn't help.

All in all my birthday started off shitty but turned around and wound up glorious. I loved it so much that on the logbook at work I put a big smiley face next to the 23rd. I thank all involved, it couldn't have been better. Much love to all.

A weekend story

Saturday:

I woke up saturday morning glad that friday wasn't a total party because I got some sleep and woke without a sinus headache again. It's been rainy and the allergens haven't been treating me well. The day was good, I'd hoped for a steady workday. Thursday was slow, friday was good. I enjoy my slow starts on saturday, but when the whole day drags on like that it's a bit annoying, I like a steady order status with 5 to 20 minute breaks for smoke and rest. Mini rushes of a few orders are fun on days like that too cause it usually dies out after and you feel a bit better about sitting on a barstool and smoking a cig, because you just worked your ass off. But that's just me.

Anyways, I get up, go to get dressed, a tad tired but not annoyingly. I get next door there's all this last minute packing and loading up the truck, My parents and oldest sister Jennifer are going to nashville for "10 days". My dads watching TV, they can't leave till he's not on call anymore, apparently they were doing something crazy at his place of work. I was told friday after chilling with dad that they'd get a vehicle from work since he was going on a work trip. Well they didn't which annoyed me. My day started out a bit shitty after that, but it was fixed soon after, Renea decided to ride with everyone and come in to the bar later. She would ride with me to my grandparents in boerne from there. Well when they finally get there somewhere around 6 Dad decides to stay too. He tends to get a bit bored there and either mindlessly reads magazines goes up to the gameroom to watch TV or surfs on his laptop. I agree. The night starts.

Saturday night:

It was rather slow. We had a few orders. It was dusk and my bosses brother Dietmar was outside with santa Dan and the like. I pointed it out to dad if he wanted to go chill. I had a few orders. Not many, we only had 4 or 5 orders total out of the entire day. Finally it was time to close the kitchen. I closed it, I think I had one Nutella Panini order after I was done but then I got it all shut down. Ran over to Super S to cash my paycheck I got friday and then when I got back dad's co-worker Erlinda was there with two younger girls. I'm introduced to them, one was her daughter, the other she claimed was her daughter but I'm pretty sure it was her actual daughter's best friend. You know how parents do shit like that sometimes. So we're sitting there and talking, they have White Zin cause they aren't wine drinkers, Dad and Erlinda are drinking a malbec by "La Linda" Erlinda tried it and it grew on her purely because of the "Linda" in it.

Mediocrity gets you peers :

Mindless conversations occur, she's pretty sloshed, was probably drinking at the house or they were somewhere else. She rambles about how she met dad and the like, comments about her daughter we smile and nod. Finally somewhere around her talking about her daughter dad boasts about me. He always does, that fucker is just too proud of me. I'm not complaining I'm just saying he always says how amazing I am to everyone. Most can see it, but on first impressions people I assume are skeptical. The daughter goes "Pssshhhhhhffffftttt" Just like that it was a hybrid of two disses at once. I assumed she was probably just joking and dad's like "what the fuck" so he's all "goddamn what was that for" and erlinda didn't notice and exclaimed in question form "Isn't MY daughter beautiful? right" so my Dad being my dad responds "She's a very pretty girl." So Erlinda shouts "Fuck, you, my daughter is fuckin beautiful" Dad says to Erlinda "She just dissed my kid I'm not gonna say she's beautiful. What was that psshhfffttt about? You barely know my kid what was that about? My kid is awesome" and the other girl chimes in "Looooosssseeerrrrrrrrr" Dad thankfully didn't hear that. All the while I'm checking twitter trying to bite my tongue. I can't talk shit, this is dad's co-worker and "friend". So the daughter asks if Erlinda wants to go to 11th st. Which is this redneck POS bar. Erlinda didn't hear and asked what she said and dad chimes in with "Your daughter wants to go slum it at 11th st." Then the two girls are like that's not slumming it's a good bar, blah blah. Dad says this is the best bar in town. the cleanest, nicest and classiest, so it would be slumming going to 11th st. He also stated that 11th st. isn't 11th st. anymore. Erlinda said that was bullshit. Me always assuming with people like this that we've been here longer than them. Unless you're born and raised Bandera I tend to forget anyone could have moved here before us. So I'm all boasting back about how dad bounced pretty much every bar in this town so HE would know! She's all "fuck that it was a mexican bar before it was a redneck bar." and rambles off some shit, dad's agreeing so I shut up. Renea says how she misses the wrangler and dad says he bounced there too. They wind up leaving stiffing us on the wine. Dad's like "fuck did they just leave me with the bill for this bottle again?" and we all hm and haw and then the daughter comes in to pay. So then we're like well cool.

The whole thing, with the bad moods bad judgements and disses. It all just kind of reminded me of this song by against me! called "Mediocrity gets you peers (The shaker)" The title just made so much sense. If you're anything, even if you're just some regular joe but you happen to be a bit smarter than most in any sense, when you're with the general run of the mill dumbasses you have to be mediocre in order to be accepted, you can show your true colors later on, but at first you just gotta seem chill and kind and all that jazz. Even if someone's boasting about you and you're trying to be as modest as possible it can turn some people off. Not all, but the self doubting person that has that front of being whoever they try to be so that you cant tell they are an insacure wreck, you have to for them if not anyone else.

We move to the bar where dad's talking to Dietmar who is leaving. Dad asks if we want a bottle of wine or some beers. I said I didn't care, renea laughs and jokes that dads not ready to go to my grandparents. We debate, I'm bummed cause all I want is a beer. Renea and Dad are convinced the two bitchfest girls were getting me down. I was annoyed and pissed but not really. It was the beer. I wanted to drink. But I had my half a beer and 3 sips of wine when erly was here and I'm driving us to boerne. I convince dad we can get a bottle to go and drink it there. No one can decide what kind so I finally state for someone to pick cause I'm not drinking any. I'm hitting up my grandfathers liquor cabinet for some rum or vodka or something. Dad's like "SCOTCH AND WATER, YEAH!" so we agree to drink scotch and water when we get there. We leave. As I'm getting my shit out of the kitchen I feel bad cause I see that there were like 2 panini orders and a cheeseboard cause fuckin walter came in and brought some shit. I mean it's good we get some food orders but there was this mini rush after I was off. That's why I don't entirely like chilling there after work. I want to help but then I have to do everything to shut it down and to go on clock for a few orders? Yeah.

11:30 pm:

We get to my grandparents. Mommom is still awake, but she's laying down. I get 3 glasses and some ice. I wait for her to go in, go to poor the scotch but I'm worried that the light is bothering them so dad says to take the bottle up with us. So I go up, poor two scotch and waters and another that I mixed with my energy drink. Me and dad play some pool in the gameroom and have another. Renea decides to txt her brother Tim because it's his birthday. But then she's like "Damn I miss it, it's only 11:45" So I told her he'd get it when he woke up. Well he responded, he was apparently still awake. So me and Dad tell renea to tell him to come out. He didn't want to cause he was feeling kinda gloomy and only had enough cash to get to town. Dad told him that he would put gas in his tank if he came out as a birthday gift. It took some more convincing including me txting him and telling him to let us come get him. He agrees and we decide to have a smoke and go kidnap him.

Midnight(The kidnapping):

Tim lives in boerne also, but about 15 to 20 minutes away from my grandparents. So we set off. We needed the right music. I wanted Arcade Fire's funeral, but we didn't have it with us so we wound up putting in Bright Eyes' Cassadega which worked wonderfully. I checked my speed, someone commented on something, I forget which one of them, but someone did. So I state my speed and tell my Dad to check the app on his Iphone that says how fast we're going so we can see if the tires are aligned right. So him being a bit buzzed decides to state our speed every few minutes and then repeat it every 30 seconds if we are not moving and going 0mph.

We twist and turn through the hills before finally crossing the Guadalupe river and turning in to Tim's house. Me and renea go in while he finishes up, dad comes in and sits down while we wait for him to get his stuff. Then we set out to get Tim gas. Me and Dad follow Tim and Renea to the gas station of choice, I fill him up and then he follows us. We drive around in mild misty conditions through downtown boerne and on to the rural roads to my grandparents. We pull in to my grandparents smoke a cig and go in. I get tim some scotch and water for him to try but he didn't like it. "It's like all the nastyness of scotch without the bite or burn." were his words. We give Time his birthday present which was a coachella 06 or 07 DVD. We got it because it had a bunch of bands he liked. Arcade Fire, Bright eyes, white stripes, morrisey, random people like that. We tell him about his cake and he reads his card and thanks all of us, we talk about birthdays and how mine's coming up and things like that. Dad challenges him to a game of pool like Renea had told him on the phone. They play a close game but I believe Dad won. We went out to smoke another cig before dad goes to sleep. We smoke our cig show dad to the room he's sleeping in cause he can never remember and we go to lay down the pillows and spreads on the floor to sleep on. For probably over 10 years me and Jen have been bunking on the floor in the gameroom with all my cousins. I'll be 21 in a little over a week and I still do it. It's nostalgic and the game room is the only room upstairs with a TV. So you wind up trying to make a comfy pad to chill on while you watch something and then fall asleep.

After that we go outside for another cig and wind up talking outside for 10 or 15 minutes untill we get too cold and go back inside. We all get comfy and throw on the Coachella DVD and pass out.

Sunday:

Sunday morning apparently my family came in to tell me bye as they were heading off to the airport and I was completely incoherent. Because when I woke up later when Tim was about to leave(like 8 or 9am lmfao) Renea was telling me how I kept asking her if she was going too and she was going to miss her ride. Later when I woke up and actually got up we cleaned up the gameroom got rid of all the cans and bottles of guinness and such, luckily I had taken the bottle of scotch down during the night. That would have been a pain to secret ninja back in to the cabinet, infact impossible. I decide to vacuum a bit and shower. Then we head over to Tim's house for dinner. We stop at wal-mart, I grab Monster's vs Aliens for my 2 little sisters staying at my grandparents to keep them entertained awhile. We cant decide what to make and finally decide pizza. Instead of 2 pizzas we decide to get pizza and one of those skillet creation things in a bag. They were both delicious. Pizza was garlic chicken with white sauce and the pasta was some zesty citrus shrimp thing. We watched that new movie with ryan reynolds and sandra bullock and then split. We picked up our laundry and headed to the house. I found arcade fire in renea's car loose under her stereo instead of in the cd case and realized thats where it went threw it in. got home, fed the dog, watched some iron chef and more food network and other shit.

The first day of fall

Prelude:
Sunday morning a tad after midnight, bringing up the radar in hopes for some rain. I thought I felt something brewing in the air, is all. there was a small wave 4 or 5 counties over, toward the edge of west Texas. I had hoped they'd hold but I didn't really give it a whole lot of though, I went back to the bedroom to play some Viewtiful Joe with Jen. We beat the underwater area, the boss, some shark guy, I forget his name was rather tricky and it had been so long I couldn't remember his patterns of attack. We scoped them out, got them down and went at it. I was reading "Feed." by an author I can't remember at the time. T. J. Michaelson or something of the sort. A rather dumbing book, but a decent read as far as I, the boy who doesn't read, can tell. Everybody talks like I remember my cousin talking when she was in early highschool in the 90s. How I wound up talking from TV and the like. It sickens me a tad how dumbed down this fucked up future he writes is. But I still read it to take what I can.

We watched "The Perfect Score" I had planned on going to sleep, but it had been so long that I didn't remember it all and wound up watching it all. I was too tired at 4:30 in the morning to remember what I fell asleep too.

Cake Talk:
I awoke the first time, just an hour after I had fallen. I awoke to her alarm, then her getting up. Confused from being asleep I ask her if she's getting ready for work. She giggles and tells me yes and that she opens. I grin, taking up her entire space on the bed, sprawled out over everywhere and use up all the pillows. It was warm and it had gotten a bit chilly. I awoke the second time to rain. I smiled at the sweet sound of water falling on my tin roof and then winced at the fact that I had to pee and it was most likely already dripping in the bathroom. I didn't feel like dodging the fiber-glass ridden leaks to get to the bathtub to pee in the only dry place(though I did rinse after mind you, I'm not a total sleeze). Jen had put in scrubs, I hear it, roll over and see it and remember waking when she put it in. I watch a bit of it because I didn't remember this one much and waited till a good time to urinate. I doze off. I awake, this time to the sound of the phone. My mom asks to talk to Jen so I give Jen a shove and hand her the phone and try to sleep. By the time she hangs up the phone I realize I should have pissed way back when. I get back and lay down to fall again. I awake again to the sound of the phone, the clock tells me I was out maybe 15 minutes. They discuss icings, cake types and sheet sizes. I asked her if she had a cake on order and she said probably. I fell. I awake a third time to a phone and more cake talk.

At this point sleep feels illogical. I decide to watch some scrubs and try and doze off. Dozing failed, the witty scrubs was getting to me, I was laughing. I watched it and the phone rang again. After that conversation and seeing every episode on the disc I got up. I got on Renea's computer, fucked around till I got this headache. I can deal with headached but for the last few days they've been borderline Migranes(so I'm told). So at almost 11:30 I decide to attempt sleep. I start scrubs again, get stuck even though I just saw them and know them word for word at this point, finally get the dog settled and turn over to sleep. I fall. I awake to the phone again. This is maybe the 6th or 7th? Feels like more. This time I answer to hear that Gener Hospital is on. It's a soap opera I've been watching since I was around 6. I know all the characters, most of the backstory, My parents even have a history book on the entire show up till like 96 or whenever it was put out. So anyways, I get up. It's 10 till 2. I get up, brush my teeth, roll a cig and sit and stare at the internet till it was time to go watch GH and eat breakfast. I open the door to go to my parent's house so I can eat and watch TV, the air outside is cool. It feels glorious. I instantly gain a smile, things are good for now. It's the first day of fall. It feels like fall, It's been feeling like fall but still hot. She's here, miss fall is here. She listened to me and granted me this grace. I love her and she knows. For lunch we had leftover Jonny Pie, which was my version of shepards pie. I murdered it, but it was tasty.

I was rather grumpy from this morning. Rose had paper cups everywhere. She was apparently trying to stack them up as fast as possible while Carin recorded her time. I just made the wierdest typo ever. If you add a G to my sister's name it spells "Caring". Anyways I was upset. The couches were scooted in too close for my liking due to leaks, I can deal with that but she was on top of the tables, sitting in front of the TV. I couldn't see. I still wasn't sure what I wanted for lunch. She finished and moved to the bar. About 20 minutes later I'm getting lunch and she's doing it again. I can't hear the TV over the scraping of her paper cups. I ask her to stop or why she can't do it in her room. Finally there was somewhat peace. Mom, rose and carin were doing something at the kitchen table and laughing. I couldn't hear too well but I can't bitch about a good time, I'm not that big of an asshole, so I ignore it. I can't do that. I won't.

Viewtiful Joe:
GH ends, Ellen begins. I watch the first part don't feel like watching the other guests including Paolo Nutinin. I head next door, in the cool fall weather. My headache returns after 15 to 20 minutes of surfing. I realize I can't do this. I go to the bedroom, my sisters are out-back so I hollar out once was a backdoor and is now just a door barely hanging flush by the hinges. It keeps the air out well, but you can't use it. I throw an evil laugh out the screen and window and Rose takes off running, Carin shouts "It's JUST Jonathon, Where are you going?" Rose responds with "NO IT'S NOT, RUN! OH MY GOD". I giggle, start talking to carin through the window, tuck up the blanket covering it up and enjoy the overcast sky that is glowing through my re-discovered window. I sit down, have a few smokes and throw in Viewtiful Joe. I finally get through the sub's torpedo loading bay, stop the loading, go back and kick all the ass. I then after some concideration realize I have to go back to the bridge and flip the sub back over. I do that get to the boss. The boss is "Another Joe" who is proving to be a real challenge. Renea get's home I go to give her a kiss and ask her about her day. She asks me first, I tell her it was shitty and explain the calls and headaches, though we both no there's no one to blame.

She tells me about her day, I go and play some more Viewtiful Joe and she starts to fall. Jen plays a bit, we smoke a bit and then Renea finally falls. I get tired of it 15 or 20 minutes 'till Dancing With the Stars, which I was interested in because it was girl's night and we were to start dinner. Jen was making Tilapia Parmesean and I was too cook the rice to serve it over. We watched, were impressed by Kelly Osbourne and finished. We watche "The Forgotten" while we finished up and ate. I came over to play some Bass. I've been practicing more. I suck compared to what I used to be. I've been trying. I finish up, go finish last night's 40 which isn't warm because it's so chilly in here and I love it. We have some laughs, I debate with renea about Religious Musicals and then she puts her movie back on.

Crash love:
Afterwards, it is time. I get some beers, we smoke, We go to play it but the order is fucked. Is this the pressing order? Or just the myspace order? So I go to download the myspace rip so we can order it the way the interpunk pre-orders say. Myspace had "End Transmission" as the 3rd track where it was the last on interpunk other than the bonus "Torch Song". We throw it on, I check my shit on the net and then pulled up this blog. I was still writing when the album ended, we both agreed that it was not long enough and started it over. I finished this section of this post to the repeat of the album.

Closing:
Fall has arrived. On time and in good fashion. I am happy, the happiest I've been for awhile. I am a fall child. I've worn this sickening grin all day but I can't help it. I'm proud. I am very proud of fall and especially the rain it brought me. I asked for it to come as soon as possible as I was done with summer and she listenend. Summer was one for the records but there were some times I wasn't too proud of, I was done. Let's hope fall treats all of us better. Let us revel in this wonderful cool air of change and inspiration. Much love.

Barnes & Noble

Yesterday I decided that my search would end that day. I would finally have it, well not knowing a title made it hard but I would have one!

Actually, it started off sunday. I was at my grandparents house(that's another story) chillin with my family. We'd all gotten together to hang out that day and had fixings for salad and sandwiches, oh there was fruit salad also. AND Jen made strawberry corn muffins(I think is what they were called), though it merely had corn meal in it for some reason, not chunks of corn. They were pretty good, oddly faint taste of tamales but it worked. So anyways I'm sitting at mommom's laptop there in the phone room, which happens to be an oddly calming room, glancing at my facebook and this here blog and read over some of the last story and wound up getting the "Bukowski" song stuck in my head.

I pondered.

I'd asked Renea about there being one near here earlier in the day and she said she knew of one by helotes but that was on the otherside of SA. But I didn't let that stop me, I'd even concidered driving through SA and taking helotes home, for shits and giggles you know?

So then came Monday. I managed to sleep till 1pm on that hard floor. I think it was because mommom got new pillows and there were perhaps a few more and there were some fluffy ones. See, I generally don't sleep in a bed there. All the bedrooms are closer to my grandparents room and none of them have radios, TVs anything, just bed and lights, maybe some books. So I stay in the game room, where the TV, DVD and Pool table are, bring my wii or other systems up there most times. I was watching mommom's house one time when she went up to lubbock, either for my cousins wedding or the birth of one of their kids. So it's my sister, me and Pachuca. We realize that this floor has plagued us far too long. Dragging a mattress -- too much work, especially at this level of drunkeness. More blankets? Never! What we needed were pillows. LOTS of pillows. Pachuca agreed, of course. Oh, so there's no pets in her house but Chuca is well trained and flea free, so we let her inside, which was probably the most thrilling part of all; especially with how haunted that place gets when we're all alone. (those are other stories for later.) So anyways, we take all the pillows out of the 4 bedrooms upstairs and stack them in bed form. So we rob all the beds of their head supporting glory and then steal the extras out of the various closets and throw them in a pile. After taking turns falling in to the comfort of amazement, we start lining them up. We had enough for the lengths of each of us and some small throw pillows for extra support and for our heads. We scooted them together so Pachuca could lay in the middle(she fucking loves pillows and will throw you off of them or steal them when you roll over, I know from experience). So that's why it's hard for me to get good sleep over there. I enjoy it though i've been sleeping on that floor since i was 10.

After I wake myself up and stretch and everything, I go out for a smoke. I'm sitting there wondering why I can see blue skies in some places and I glance at the table and remember my book was there yesteday. Remembering I was reading it in the phone room I decide to read it some. I finish my smoke go inside, grab it and sit in the dining room. Renea was heating up an Amy's Tamale Verde(I believe) and I start at it. I grab something to eat after she's finished heating and then we head upstairs, she decides to shower so I sit on our crafty makeshift mattress and read some more. Awhile later I was going to take a shower, but only after this chapter, when I realize that I'm on chapter 30 and I'm almost done. That's when it was decided, I would find Barnes & Noble.

I take my shower, wash my dreads, go out for another smoke and a walk around the little circle to look at the clouds. I go in and google locations for it in SA and find the barnes & noble website, laugh my face off because there's one in la cantera, when last time I wanted to go for Knipfel books, we went a bit further in to SA and they closed that one down. I ask renea if she can get us there because I'm afraid to drive all that crazyness haven't even seen someone else drive it and she says she can. We ask Jen, I check my wallet and we go.

I tend to like to glance at the drivers as we pass, especially at two lanes, passenger side can see exactly who's next to you. So as I happen to be riding today I glance over. I just find it curious, the people that drive certain cars. I also pay more attention to PT Cruisers, I love those and would love to drive one and I find it odd that mostly older gals drive them. But I do say they look oddly like the 40s or 50s gangster cars and that's why I like them. Maybe it takes'em back to the old days. Dirty looking Mexicans(quite literally dirty, workers, i'm not being racist) in nice ass white pick ups with nice rims always catch me off guard and I always get dirty looks. Girls that are dancing, especially if there's more than one and they are all rocking out, always make me giggle. I also like the different faces of ranch hands. We passed one guy I don't remember his face but I remember a dirty look. It wasn't a nice car but it wasn't a piece of shit either and ours isn't a nice car but not a piece of shit either, so why the dirty look? Oh, my dreads. the window is down because it is glorious outside and a wonderful temperature and the skies are a bit gray and the clouds wild and my locks still wet from the wonderful washing are flying around. That must be it. I catch a strange feeling and we press on.

We arrive to the otherside of la cantera, where fiesta texas is. It's only appropriate we come here. My aunt who passed away last year, which is the reason we got together sunday, took me here once when I was younger. I don't remember much but I do remember some. My cousin Erica was lifeguard and we went and saw her. I went on some little train ride that was a kids coaster and then we saw a fireworks display at the end. We also got those glowy necklaces. Which later i would chew through at home and it would spray me in the eye, which burned like a bitch and I got my eye flushed out and then we were banned from using those. Anyways, we were here, I'm staring at the tall steel tracks wondering what it looks like to see a cart roll acrossed it and we are surrounded by small cliffs. A little lost, we find our way. We stroll through what reminds me very briefly of denver and Renea says "This is home to some of the snotties people in San Antonio." I glance around and state "I can tell". We stop at a cross walk and two wonderful ladies did thank us for crossing though, I felt hope.

We park, get out, start walking. I look around, feel a little odd about and comment about the dirty look we got from a guy that appeared to be some sort of security before we got here. Renea repeats about the snottys and I tell her that they'll hear. We walk in and I can feel a few eyes on me but I try and keep the grin on my face and remain peaceful. I know it's here. I can feel it. They may be older books but what reason would barnes & noble have for not carrying it? Sold out? ♪Yeah I know he's a pretty good read but god who'd wanna be, god who'd wanna be such an asshole♪ No, no one would like reading him that much. It's here. We pause in amazement of the escalator and hop on.

We go up find the literature/poems section and in an instant I have it. I have not one, but 6 books of Charles Bukowski in my arms. All short stories, prose and poems. Renea tells me to get a table, I'm hesitant and then she seats me in a huge comfy chair in front of a glass coffee table and darts off again. I Comment to them about "Drowning in flame" because of a reference in an Rx Bandits song and set to reading through a bit of them. Renea returns with all of his fictional novels. I now have maybe 16 books of Bukowski's sitting in front of me then they both go to look at other books and leave me with Bukowski.

A guy came and sat acrossed from me as Renea was setting down those fictional novels. But he remained silent. Pulled out his laptop and started surfing away. He was apparently eyeing the both of us and smiling before she set off for her books. Then maybe 5 minutes after her and Jen had left he speaks.

"So what got you so interested in Bukowski?" he asks
"Well, I haven't been much of a reader most my life but I've gotten hooked recently on a few books. I heard this song by modest mouse, heard of them?"
"Oh yeah" he adds
"There's this song where he's talking about Bukowski and he says "Yeah I know he's a pretty good read, but god who'd wanna be such an asshole"
we both laugh a little
I continue "So yeah, between that song and some of the other stuff I've been reading I decided to see what an asshole he really was"
"I dunno, I just always wind up being really upset at the world when I finish reading him" He says
"I can imagine from what I hear" I say
"And he reminds me of like required reading in highschool or some shit"
"Yeah" I say skeptically, figuring maybe he would be, but hell if I know
"Ever heard of Jim Knipfell" I ask
"Nah" He responds
"He's kinda like this, atleast from what I hear of him. Only he has this great dry sarcasm and twisted dark humor. His books are awesome. I have 3 of his so far and I love'em"
"That's pretty cool, I'll have to check him out" he responds half heartedly.
Things fall silent.
"Oh my god that thing is just a fuckin world of cuteness"
I grin but don't look up at this guys crazyness
"What kind is it?" He adds
"It's a Husky and Dachsund" She responds. Or atleast I think she said Dauchsund, Actually that seems pretty rediculous, it was dachsund and something.
I glance up, see a puppy in a purse, pretty cute thing I guess and go back to reading.
"How old is it" he asks
"About 9 months" she replies
"ohh that things till just a little puppy dog, aren't you the cutest" he says
Holy christ, do people seriously come to Barnes & Noble to pick bitches up? I mean fuck, atleast do better than that, have some strategy, make it a challenge, I could strike up a better conversation than that and I'm a bigger fool than you are!
"Ok well it was nice talking to you, thanks for digging my dog" she states, to get out of there while he's still petting the dog
"Oh yeah, have a good day miss" He responds
Things fall silent again

I go back to flipping through the book "Burning in flame, Drowning in flame" on the front. Flip through it, A bit dissapointed with the ones in this one. But then I remember these are his early works, maybe his short stories are better, or the later prose and poetry. I flip through books. 20 minutes must've passed, I start on his fictional novels as Renea and Jen get back, Renea points out that "Post Office" while fictional is base loosely on himself because the name of the character is his alter ego or ghostwriter, something like that. I flip through a few, Jen's sitting there bookless cause she was already done with all the cookbooks so I tell her she can check these out. She grabs Post Office and starts reading. I finish mildly interested in a few, but I am low on cash and cant decide if I should just get mommom to get one from the library for me. I figure hers has some. But as I'm going to put them up Jen said Post Office is good, it had her about to laugh but she didn't want to in the store. So I put them all back.

I'm not done though. I was in colorado. I bought "Ruining it for everybody" by Knipfel in colorado. For 3 bucks. I didn't expect to find something amazing for THAT cheap in this hell hole, but I thought I might find something. I'm about to finish "Jerk, California" and I'll have nothing to read. Jen got me "Feed." but I dunno if I can finish that before it's due.\

I decide Graphic Novels. I like those, there must be a better selection than Hastings. So I search the whole building for 10 minutes. Renea outside on a smoke break, Jen looking at photography books. I glance around downstairs, wind up in the music/movie/audio book section. Glance around at the reduced priced movies all shit so I go over to the CDs. I check for the new Incubus "Monuments and Melodies", but they don't have it. HOW could they NOT have it? ... must be sold out. I decide to check upstairs again. I look through scifi, nothing. I walk around through history, all the dummies books in to the kids books, I find the bathroom. fucking nice. Afterwards I come out and see a computer to search. I search Knipfell. I figure if I'm not ready for bukowski I'll get one of knipfells fictions. I'll like those. None. What's worse, none of his memoirs are here period. Not even on the site. My heart sinks, I feel like the gray clouds have clouded over the building, the ones that tease you, the ones you hate. The ones that look like rain, smell like rain and feel like rain, but nothing falls, Or worse you feel and hear maybe 6 to 12 drops, all spaced out. You then know it will rain but not here, just down the road.

I then search for "30 days of night" because it's the only graphic novel I can think of. I have results, some supposedly in-store. It says they are in the section "Graphic Novels". Great, I've been all through this bitch. It's teasing me now. I hate this god forsaken store. I commence my second search. Surely if the fucking computer says it's here. IT'S FUCKING HERE. So I walk I weave. I go back downstairs, I pass the main displays with books strewn about. Who the hell are these people, I've never seen their names, I'm not up on books but I think I might hear about SOME of them. Fuck these fools, none of them know talent. I go back over to the bargain books. I'm just looking for some reject, the ones who can really write, the ones that pull me in. the unconventionals, the bratpack of books. Where the fuck are you hiding them Barns & Noble.. You don't have them do you, books have become trash, and you wouldn't recognize the talent I'm looking for. fuck...

I give up, find Jen and Renea. I tell them I want to find these fabled novels with pictures. My crutch for all these years. The only way I could hold my own in a sea of sentances, the only way I could finish a book fast. The only god damn way I didn't wind up reading the same line twice before realizing it, losing my place, scanning, re-reading cause I can't tell if I've read it and then finally regaining my pace. The books that distractions don't murder me. We go up, I re-explain and Renea exclaims "Oh, they're over here" and goes bouncing in search of them. I follow and find them. Only to find nerdy mildly cute girl from the scifi section and the guy from the comfy couch alone with two other randoms. Mildly cute nerdy girl exclaims about this one guy and the way he introduces the heroine "Such and such name: everyone runs" and various things like that. People giggle, not really interested in some feminist loving a graphic novel because its graphic and has a heroin. I glance around for something interesting from a distance and see nothing glance at the other side to seem more but some guy crouched reading one. Well fuck. Is that what I'm like? I like to plop down and skim through a book or magazine. Fuck. Hey, but atleast I pay attention and stand up and scoot out of the way when I know someones looking in my area. This guy's some fuck with a tie sitting there fucking pretending these books are cool and that he's in love with vampires and zombies, fuck probly wants to be one, purely because he hates his deskjockey job and cubicle, tired or it I bet he is. He should waste his time wanting to be more tangible.

I regain Jen after showing her a nifty little memoir. It was a memoir but the guy was also somewhat of an artist, so he memoir was in graphic novel form. Well it was more like comics but I believe the front said graphic novel. I tell her of the crowd around the graphic novels. I wonder about all those fools sitting there and we walk back. I point and mouth "see?" we glance around the manga and anime and finally the suit guy sitting on the ground leaves, so we go and look. There's not much. I think this place may have had a slightly larger selection than Hastings, I did find the other books in the 30 days of night series but they were like $20. I wanted something that had the potential to change my life. Not something gory and mildly fun and entertaining. We looked for some Vasquez but found none. Not even "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac". Lappy guy from comfy chair leaves and we move in. There's really maybe one interesting thing on this rack. I am more displeased. This time now with Barnes & Noble but more with the crap being sold.

I'm still not quite done. I decided on "Post Office" I need bukowski, He's a german, drunk, asshole, cigar smoking bastard. Sounds just like me. I still want something more and something cheap. I dart around the store a bit relooking at scifi, looking at the faceless names plastered on covers with disgust. But then I realize I might actually enjoy being published. I would probably be Knipfell style. Wich is how I like to term Comical Memoir, purely because that was my first exposure. It's what inspired me to do what I'm doing right now. My life is mildly funny? Why not see if anyones interested I continue my wandering, think about George from Jerk "But he sure did like to wander" ah fuck these books are freaking me out, why do I want more? I stroll down another row, repeat my thoughts on disgust and envy and finally I am conent with what I have. Bukowski. He's what I came for, I do not need more.

A few years back I was both very Psyched and also a little annoyed with Jen's reading habbit. She'd tell me the crazy shit happening in the book and fill me in, because she knew I'd never read it she'd tell me all of it. I especially loved this with books I got for her, because they sounded crazy and I knew she'd like it but I was mildly interested too. But knew I couldn't handle a book that sat taller laying down than the length of the last joint on my thumb. I just couldn't. I'm horrible at reading. I get her this one. "Brother Odd" I think, I believe it was Dean Koontz. She loved it, I made the mistake of getting the second in the series, but it recapped alot apparently. She read the other one and one came out recently.

As I ask renea to lead me to the checkout line I spot a book at the sale rack. Renea spots "Odd Hours" which we were looking at earlier and it was $10. This one was hard cover and $6. It was 7 or 8 in walmart. Can't pass that up I ask Jen if she'll read it. "Well, yeah I'd read it" she says, So I grab it. We check out and leave. I'm pretty annoyed with the whole experience but glad I got some bukowski. I can't stop thinking about "Jerk, California" and we're flying down the highway. "What are you frowning about" Renea asks me as I exhale smoke out my window and hand her the cigarette. "Nothing" I respond. "I'm not frowning" I add and force a grin. I sit back, turn up the music. We were listening to "Welcome Johnny" a mix CD by my friend James. I smile thinking about the H in there but I laugh because I love it. It says "Johnny" after all. How can I argue with that? I flip through some of the songs and turn it up a bit more and we blast back to mommom's. I wonder about the books and the people without faces and what they think, what the business is like from what I've heard, the outrageous prices and all their general bullshit and the people in there and their looks and stares. Atleast no one commented baddly, I grin.

We get back to mommom's, pack up our stuff, say our goodbyes and went on our way. Stopped at walmart to do shopping, garlic looked like ass so we hit HEB. I was gonna say what up to James but I guess he had the night off, or was in back. But he wasn't stocking, someone else was. We got our garlic, garlic cheese bread and spicy chicken bocas and left.

Drove home in the wonderful night air, grabbed some coronas and chilled at the cabin.

Horse? Horst. Horse? Labor day? What?

It was a memorial day weekend. Generally not that busy for us. It was rather dull, till saturday.

Saturday is when the town has their parade. After last year my boss realized I don't need to come in at 11am when the parade starts, people don't really eat till later. So I missed this year's parade and came in at 2pm. As I pulled I saw a white vehicle leaving, truck or SUV I can't remember. Ah fuck, I've missed Ken and Kirsten. I wonder what chaotic crazy conversations I missed this time!

I walked in to the bar to find out that it had been dead. I was only Fin and Geirhardt plus one couple. So I hadn't missed K2. The bar is dead. There's no one. I sat around asked how the parade was, if they had gotten rain here cause I saw some on my ride in to town.

Maybe 15 minutes later I go to grab my book from the car, start reading. Finished maybe one chapter and then Dick(one of our patrons) comes back with a friend, they are on the sidewalk outside our windows and Dick, Jokingly, Says you want us to come in? Open up the door! His friend took him seriously. He tries to get the horse in. The horse DID NOT WANT TO, so he says open the other door(there's double doors at our back door, with a ramp up to the entrance) I'm sitting on the customer side of the bar, right in the way of everything! Before I realize he's in the bar with the horse! I'm frozen. I can see the horse is agitated, I know I need to move or I could die. I invision the horse kicking me in the ribs and breaking most of them, but I can't run, if I do I'll spook the horse and surely die, plus all of our wines would get demolished. slowly scootch between the chairs and dart around the back of the bar so I could atleast hide and run around if the horse somehow makes it on that side I could make it around the bar before that horse. I'm faster in these confined spaces! muwahahaha about that time he took the horse up a bit, turned it around so he could leave, bumping his head and losing his hat on the way in, he thankfully got off the horse and walked it out rather than kicking the horse in to action as he did on the way in.

Dick and this guy sat and had a few beers, we had one other guy come in and chat with them. Then they all split. My boss decides to leave me in charge of the bar while she goes home to get her laptop so she can dump the pictures and show everyone. -The door shuts and I see my boss drive off- Oh shit. I've never used a cash register except when I was 8 or 9 and that was a different one that I was fucking around with. How is anyone going to pay if they come in and leave before she gets back.

So I'm sitting there trying to read, hoping that the person that walks in is a regular and understands. I get back to reading my book about the time I quit worrying, two black women walk in. A younger one with dreads and an older one with a sad attempt an an afro.. that had been dyed blond. Ah, nice atleast there's two of them. They'll probably be here awhile and if it looks like they are about done I can call my boss. whew! So she walks toward me, I have all my welcome to the wine bar shit prepped when she says: "This is gonna sound weird but what Collogne do you wear?" ♪A fake Jamaican♪

Conversation went something like this: Me: "I don't wear any."
Her: "Well, we're giving away free samples if you're interested"
Oh nice, My grandmother gets free samples from malls, little teeny tiny bottles of cologne, she usually gives them to me. how cool
Me: "Sure, what do ya got?"
Her: "Well here's our list. Take a look at it. We just got done in town with a booth and we didn't sell all of our stuff so we're selling them at a discount price of $30. Here try this one, mind if I spray you?"
Me: "Sure"
Other girl: "I love your dreads!"
Me: "Why thank you!"
Her: "So this is Calven kline" something or another, I forgot
Me: "Nice" I scan over the list with not enought time before she asks to spray my other arm.
Me: "This other one is nice."
Her: "Yeah so you interested?"
Me: "Well you said $30?"
Her: "Yep!"
Me: "-laughs nervously- well I don't have 30 on me, sorry"
Her: "What do you have on you" oh fuck, well I saw atleast a $10 in my wallet when I bought my drink earlier..
Me: "I have $10."
Her: "Well if you got $10 more I'll give it to you for $20"
I flip open my wallet Shit, I should have claimed it was in the kitchen, she's going to see how much I have.
Me: "Ah well I have exactly $20
♪A fake Jamaican took every lost dime that I had♪
That'll do it, enjoy your(something I could not make out)
Older lady: So you guys have any free samples?
Me: Well, the closest we have is our flights. It's 3Oz of 3 whites or reds. whites are $8 and reds are $9.
Older Lady: "Well I'm still working so I can't have anything to drink but I can have free samples!"
Me: "Sorry, but we don't really do free samples"

They thank me wish me a good day and leave. As soon as the door shut A Modest Mouse song popped in my head.

"A fake Jamaican took every last dime with that scam, it was worth it just to learn some slight of hand"

After realizing this, realizing that my free samples were probably what was sprayed on me though still spinning wondering where my tiny bottle of collogne was, I felt cheated. But at the same time it was a nice pair of black ladies one with dreads and to boot my collogne that I was pushed in to buying didn't do animal testing. Probably a lie but whatever. I have a nice collogne for special occasions... not that I ever have any special occasions but I'll find use for it some where.

10 minutes later our patron Doug came in. He exclaims that he was on his way to a party but wanted a glass of one on the way and thought there'd be someone here. I told him not really it's been dead enough that my boss left me here alone but we had had a horse come in the bar. He flipped, Don't you know this is such and such wood on quarter inch studs, He rambled off all the info about how the flooring was probably put together and said we were lucky he didn't fall through the floor. I told him I would be happy to get him a drink, he asked for a white of some sorts to which I told him I was more familiar with our reds, I don't drink much white. I told him the Live-A-Little was good, alot of people enjoy that but the description was sweet, he didn't want sweet. "Ah hell give me a glass anyways" he responds. I told him I'd give him a taste. After shanking the glass a tad to get a decent sip I hand it to him, he likes and wants a glass. He asks for my name. I respond with "Jonathon". fuck Jonathon, you always forget to introduce yourself as Jonny, How will Jonny ever stick? Our Mayor walked in while I was pooring his glass I ask the mayor what I can get him. "Tall dunkle it is" I respond. I get the mayor his drink they commence to talking. I wrote down a ticket for mayor but not doug. Doug wanted one glass.

They're talking and all of a sudden while writing the ticket he says "I was telling Jonny here!" I didn't hear it, then when I realize he said Jonny I turn and he's leaning in to Horst(our mayor) asking "Jon right, his name is Jon?" I half heartedly shout yeah. He goes "I was telling Jonny here" and went on with his story, I missed it as I was pooring Horst's beer.

My Boss gets back, I explain the situation she goes to ask them how everything was and she says there was a horse in here! Doug says to my boss "That's what Jonny there was telling me" My boss looks around a bit confuzzled. Holy balls. I tell him my name is Jonathon he overlooks that and instead of Jon takes to calling me Jonny! This is the greatest day ever! My boss I still don't know if she realized that he was talking about me.

Afterward we had a slight rush of people looking for uhh. Dinner? It was 5 or 6. I don't eat at normal times breakfast is usually around noon. So it was dinner or lunch, who knows these people are on vacation. A couple came in. It was odd the man had a glass of white wine. Chard I think. The girl had a dunkle, Our dark german beer. I was cooking something but when I was done I came out and Renea had a cig lit so I take a few drags and she starts telling me about how they were making out, she could see tongue and everything. It was a lull so I stood around outside the kitchen when Renea had to use the bathroom. Then I saw it! They didn't make out but they were pretty deep in kissing, he grabbed her by the face the way I generally do and pulled her in for a kiss, they kissed a few times and then stopped. She was staring at him with either immense love or pure uncensored lust. About 2 minutes later they tabbed out and split, he was leading her by the hand and I'm almost sure they went to fuck in the car. If not they got a room, though I don't think there are hourly rooms here in bandera. Pretty sure if you are looking to cheat you either go to the person you mets house or find a rural road and pull of to the side and fuck in the back seat like teenagers.

Laura and James came in, I had a few orders so I didn't get to chill with them as much as I wanted. After talking about various movies and such, We decided to go see Ponyo on wednesday and they left. Though I did find out that James does an awesome deliverance impression. His impromptu talkings to go along with the face included him demanding one of my smokes. I was tickled.

The rest of the night was pretty dull. Apart from fin and gay making fools of themselves because they hate our mayor. I was about ready to beat the shit out of them. Actually I take that back, I wasn't awake enough to beat on them, I really just wanted a snide remark. I didn't have the oppertunity so they threw a mild fit and left. We closed down around 9pm. Which is rather early. But us three had had enough.

The drive home was good, I didn't see any deer which suprised me, the last time it had rained they were everywhere, looking for fresh green grass.

Remember? Nostalgia.

I------ Remember. I remember when this house had some life to it. I remember when things were white. I remember living, breathing and sleeping in every single room of this house -- except the bathroom.. Though I did almost fall asleep while laying on a pile of laundry that was in the bathtub, in my younger years.

I remember when my uncle danny lived in here. I remember with my parents dear old friend Kathy lived in here. I remember when my Great Grandma Mac and my Grandma Rosalie stayed here. I remember the dart board that we would bust out and hang on the sliding wood office doors. I remember the picture with the whale that hung in the hallway that is not big enough for two people to walk down... Which the people who sold my parents the ranch said they loved about it, they had to hug or say something, atleast brush against each other, while walking down the hallway.

The room I'm sitting in now used to be mine and my sisters bedroom(we shared when we were younger) and its tiny. Now We've knocked down a wall to open up the living room to be bigger and throw desks and computers about. I remember helping my family close in half the porch for their bedroom, which became my bedroom when they moved out of this house. which is now condemned. Sheetrock falling off the ceiling, water damage on the walls from the leaks.

I remember when there were still rooms you could house.

I remember alot of things bout this house. I remember chilling in the living room with 25 small balloons and a vent in the floor. Me and my sister were playing a game where we had to get them in to the laundry basket without the vent blowing them away.

I do love this house, I really do. I've been living here since I was about 6. My cousins have been in here with me and know every room i've lived in. I've had good times and bad. I've slept in every room but the bathroom, the living room was one of my favorites. I used to stack the couch pillows and couch cushions in the small hallway, so tall that I couldn't see over it. My mom would then not invade the entire bedroom/bathroom end of the house. I assume she either didn't drink much liquid or time seemed way longer than it does now when I was younger(which is so obviously, but I didn't think THAT much, heh). I would jump on the beds, watch movies without interuption and anything I could think of. I was probably naked at the time. I really should have grown up in a nudist colony

So, Before I carry on for ages, let me just say that as much as I hate this house I love it. things just always find a way to level-out This is, as one put it "A punk rock house" and in my opinion the perfect one. I must admit I feel bad when people see it, I imagine them thinking what poor and shitty standards I live in. But for one it beats the hell out of living with my parents, plus there's no room. Also it makes for good stories and even if i sweat or freeze my ass off, it really is a warm place in my heart. I've done everything you could imagine to this house. I've put my fists through the walls, i've torn off doors, hell me Jen and Renea cut out a wall to expand it. Renea cut it all out with a circular saw!

So yeah, there's that...

Year!

A little over a year ago this girl starting coming in to my bar. Pretty blond one. She mostly came in alone with a book. I never talked to her because I thought she was doing schoolwork(college, cause she was obviously 21 to be drinking wine), I thought this because she was always copying stuff out of the books she was reading, I figured she was taking notes. From time to time she'd come in with this other girl, or meet her there. To my recollection she was a bit darker skinned, I took her for a latin gal. But the blond was way cuter.

So one night, I had to take my sister in to town for something or another. while filling water bottles I get a craving for a cigar(I used to smoke them much more than I do now, though I do still love them), I walk in to the grocery store and up to the service desk which happened to still be open and there she was(though I didn't realize it at the time). So I ask her for a cigar. Not knowing much about cigar brands especially in a piece of shit grocery store I tell her "Pick one for me maybe it was the beer I had before finding out I had to run to town but I followed it up with I trust ya! Just don't give me one of those cheap ones" the cheap ones taste like ass, I wasn't trying to impress anyone. She then asked me "Hey don't you work at the wine bar?" To which I replied "Yes I do, I think I've seen you in there before" of course I had! I guess I was playing it cool. She said yes and I told her she should come back some time. and that was that.

Then one day it was mildly slow on a friday but I was trying to keep busy, I didn't feel like sitting in the kitchen drawing or playing one of the two games my phone at the time had. So I was doing various other shit. I had to use the rest room and she was sitting at the very end. There's this plank that blocks people from coming behind the bar on that end, which was down today. I ducked under and went on my way. On the way back from the bathroom, I stood up to soon and slammed in to it so hard it went up about 6 inches and came crashing back down on the bar. I want to say there was stuff on top of it too but luckily I didn't break anything. After analyzing the situation of did I break anything or not, I quickly couldn't think of what to do. Surely I couldn't just walk away. So I turned to her and said "Hey, so, What's up?" She was giggling and said "Not much how about yourself, are you ok?" I think I replied with something like "I'm fine, I've got a thick head and I'm just wandering around, workin." We talked back and forth about god knows what(I think the bump on my head or shock that I just-without thinking-spoke to this girl, but I don't remember what we talked about. just normal bs small talk probably). I find out her name is Renea. About 10, 15 mins later her friend showed up. They ordered... I think an asiago plate. They were also drinking hard cider.

They stuck around for awhile till the friend left, while the blond stayed. I have to give her credit, she wound up staying there pretty much till closing. My bosses boyfriend realized she was sitting there and said "Hey that cute blond is back you should go talk to her" So when I was finally "off" work I went over and sat one chair away from her(Sitting right next to her is a bit forward for me and always makes things awkward for the girl in my opinion). I say "off" because there was an order or two but my wonderful boss took care of it. I think she knew I was in to her. I liked her because... The only way I can put it is she challenged me. I told her I hadn't talked to her before cause I thought she was doing schoolwork and she said she was copying stuff from a poetry book and that she wrote. She asked me what I was in to and I told her music mostly and said I played bass and dabbled in guitar, she asked if I was in a band. I told her no and she right out asked me why not? I gave a few half assed reasons and she told me I should be and that I should learn more about music and bass. She asked why I hadn't. I had no real reason other than being busy and adjusting to having a job for the first time. No one ever did that. She asked why I wasn't in the modscene anymore for making modifications for game. Again I had the same reasons. No one did that. I was interested to say the least. I found out she was between the town we worked in and the town I live fucking plus if I ever heard one. So after awhile she was pretty buzzed and it looked like we were closing(we weren't, Don and Debby were there and we close when they're ready) I told her if she wanted to stay I'd protect her from getting forcibly thrown out but she had to go anyways. She gave me her number as she was leaving and then she split. I left soon after.

I went home excited, proud. I had gotten my first phone number, my mom suprisingly was more excited than my dad. He can be hit or miss, it depends on the mood really.

The next day I was at work and told my boss and her boyfriend about it. They said I HAD to call her, atleast call her and set up a date. Otherwise she'd never come back in the bar or if she did, she'd either give me shit or it would just be way awkward. I learned that the movies are not so great for a first date because you're just sitting there watching something, not really talking. Dinner or lunch is good, but what's best(according to them) would be to go on an adventure(my words not theirs). Go somewhere walk around window shop, hit up a park, something. So I threw out the parade in my town and they said I could do that. So I call her. I only took a few shots and a beer before I was ready. I called her. She was at the indian pow wow in the town I was working so she couldn't make the parade but I told her there was a big thing afterwards at the fun-house here in town(a bar of sorts, but not really a bar. but it really is). She said she could probably make it.

See, I had been single for 3 years. 3 running years. Not only that but I had never been on a date like this. I had had 3 girlfriends in that timespan and met them all on the internet. Only 2 of which I had met in person. It was always come over to my house and lets chill. they all lasted a year+ but still, I had never been on a real date. The closest was going to my first girlfriend's graduation thing for whatever grade she was in. It was a big event of sorts I suppose, anyways.

So now this is a bit... young? childish? shy? No, not really any of those things. But I had asked my parents if they wanted to go up to the fun house and told them they could meet this girl, well I actually asked if they please would come out. Not because I was shy or anything like I previously stated. I needed a drink. I had held my own before hand, sober, but that was differen't it wasn't a schedualed date. So on this date I needed a drink. I was 19 going on 20(I was to turn 20 the next month) So I needed my parents there if I were to have a beer. So I tell her where its at after she calls and we go up there. I slammed 2 or 3 beers before she gets there. She should've been here by now So I get out my cell and commence to looking for a signal about that time I see her pull up. it was dusk. She comes over probably not expecting to meet my family. And after the way I fucked up with the last girl that met my parents I make this a point. I introduce her to my dad, mom, sister Jennifer and two younger sisters rose and carin. So she says hello and sits, I ask her what kind of beer she wants(It was either shiner or dos equise) and get it for her. We start talking and then my mom gets half buzzed and starts to confess how she told me about this really cute ass blond girl that works behind the service desk in super s and how she told me I should talk to her. I barely remember but apparently Renea is the same girl. My mom still boasts about that from time to time, heh eh.

So right around nightfall, My cigar dies. I need another one, the ice house is closed. So I call John, my bosses boyfriend and tell him that he and sandra(boss) should come down that we're having a good old time and that Renea had come out. I called him and left him 2 or 3 messages(I was mildly drunk at this point). Then, Ms Renea realizes that she needs to get a 6 pack of watermelon smirnoff for her sister because she and her dude wanted to drink it. So I ask her if she's coming back or anything and she said she would but then we didn't know if the fun house would still be open(they dont open on sunday, this was an exception) So one way or another, She offered or I asked if I could go with her. So I go with her, in her car. The first thing I hear when her car starts is "With arms outstretched" by Rilo Kiley. I'm freaking out. "YOU LISTEN TO RILO KILEY? oh my god I didn't think anyone out here listened to anything but the radio! She's asking if I want her to change it or anything cause it's a bit girly, but I said no. I love Rilo Kiley and that song. I was suprised to say the least. It all felt right, it all felt perfect. I was happy.

We get the smirnoff, I can't remember if I got a cigar. We wind up at her(and her parents) house, she lives in a building off the side of her parents. holy shit son of a bitch -- cut. I live next to my parents too, on the same ranch no less! So we drop off the smirnoff in the drop off area(her room next to the door) for her sister. Then she wants to take me to the water hole to show me. So we stop and walk down with a smirnoff for each of us. We sit and talk and watch the stars till we finish our drinks then we go to turn around, she's telling me about the land and such, till she cuts a corner too tight on the wrong turn. Some rebar was poking through and took out her tire. So we borrow her sisters car to take me home. At that point I met her family. I can only imagine what they thought, first date, i'm in their house, borrowing her sisters car, I've got dreads.

So we take her sisters car and she's going to take me back to the funhouse. I make a comment that the time is wrong on her clock in the car. After driving a bit I'm pretty sure I stole a cigarette. I hadn't had one in 4 years. well, that's a lie. I was at my cousins birthday party at my aunt's house a month before and had run out cigars there also and stole cigs from my cousin. Afterwards I found half a pack of American Spirits Lights that someone had left and started smoking those. After that pack I quit again. So I don't think I got a cigar, they were out of the ones she gave me, or maybe I did but didn't want to smoke it in her car. I forget. About halfway there I exclaim "IT'S ALMOST 4:20!" She giggles and asked if I smoked. I told her occasionally. So we decide to go to my house and skip the fun house if I can put up with her in that situation. I told her of course I could. We see the funhouse open and laughingly wave at all the people as we go by. I warn her about my house being a mild wreck and she accepts that.

At the time my bed was in the living room and my couch had broken(which is why the bed was there) so we had to sit on my bed. Which was pretty much the same in her house holy shit this is ironic and glorious So we get here. I've got beer so we get some out of the garage and come in. We sit about 2 feet away from eachother, spark and start talking. After keeping the crazyness that is my family at bay for the night(didn't want to make the wrong impression right off the bat) We kept talking. After awhile I got up to use the bathroom. I came back and took a glance at everything. The situation, the people wandering around the yard in the drunken stupid party antics we usually get in, the location of things in the room, the location of her and my location. I glance at her and stretch and groan and then I tell her: "Alright, I'm comin up on ya. If you don't want me this close or I make a bad move just tell me and I'll back off" I have no idea what she's thinking about all this or anything. So I sit directly next to her. No pillowes between us, no 2 ft radius. No, we're next to each other. After about 5 minuts of talking and silence I finally lean over, hesitantly for a kiss. THANK FUCKING GOD she leaned in to and didn't do an ostrich neck pull back or something, so we kiss. I had music playing, It went from probably Rx Bandits or something to Minus the Bear. We kiss a bit, talk some more and eventually without words both agree she'll be staying here for the night. After awhile I kill the lights and we layed around talking.

That was our first date. It was one year ago and I've been blissful and happy beyond words ever since. I love that girl something fierce.