Fuck. I need to work on my voice. Quitting smoking is the first start which is the end of this month. I got the soul, got the will. I could give you goosebumps and make you feel nostalgic when you've never heard my song before. Make the girls wet and make the guys wish they could be like me. I would have such good stage performance that would rival the gods. I could be so great if only I could get off my ass.
Sarturday marks another year. I'll be 22. In the sense that every year is new we celebrate January 1st, but in the sense of you are your own person walking through life as an individual, your birthday marks the new year in you and your soul. I've gone through some shit this year, saturday marks the change. I will commit myself to betterness, to equality, to becoming something greater than I am today.
"I'm feelin like a lonely hobo all alone in my bed, yeah. Nobody has to blame, no not at all. We got to cooperate, pick eachother up each time we fall, simplify the complications get together to unite, we got the power with in our hands, got to train to turn this dark to light."
I did it once before and faltered, but don't we all? It's fall, I'm a fall child, fall is the biggest season of change and I do it near constantly, with every inspiration and every gleam at a change. there's nothing holding me back, so why not? This is all we really can do apart from actively changing our world and the people who don't realize this get on my nerves. Those fake sons a bitches that just do what they need to do for status more than the soul. You need status to survive if you want that age old retirement plan and fund or the money to outlast your life, but human nature is to spend it when ya got it. So without that fucking fund you aint got shit unless you're a master planner.
"I aint got no status or a fuckin diamond rock, but I still got the voice to sing!"
The hypocrisy of everything can drive you mad so we all live in a world of "Ignorance is bliss" which has worked for me in the past but it can't last forever in the real world, only in the part that you choose to ignore society and the shit that comes with it, or what the government is doing or politricks in general. I can be what I want to be if I try hard enough, just as anyone can, but what if I want to take my own time at it? I'm tired of the world and people telling me I have to live one hundred million miles an hour fast asleep. After all how do you feel when you're alone?
"It's your only day and you got all the truth but you'll never feel the way you were"
I'm tired. So damn tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. So maybe I have open eyes. Maybe I can see the world better than she can, maybe better than you can and yeah it gets me down, yeah it gets me down. But do I let it win me over? More times than not the answer to that question is no. I try my damnedest and why should I be punished. I've been scared. I've chosen safety over going for the big. But as they say "Go big or go home" and I've forgotten that from time to time, but is that really so bad that I should be treated the way people have treated me? I don't think so, but hey this is me.
As Brandon Boyd said:
"But therin lies the gift! You don't have to agree with me! or I with you. Cool, huh? So attack, criticize, chime in, fire at will, blog me to death, correct my spelling. this is a work in progress. "Spirit in action,"(to borrow a new favorite term). Art is my window and my opportunity to let the butterflies in my stomach fly free. And whether you like how they look or sound in mid flight, know this; "I don't take myself that seriously." I approach language and life with an inherent respect. And lastly I will always be eternally grateful for the opportunity and this experience"
"Have I read this book before? Have I seen these pictures? I think I have, but it's still fun to go through it again." Is what I thought to myself while flipping through the murks of the sultry abyss. That's basically why I'm here. I was probably drunk off my ass laying on a cloud in the afterlife, drooling on some state, province, country that turned in to rain when I said "Let me try it again, I'm bored. This feels like a good time to try again, dude, set it on nightmare I've only played x amount of times, I got this, don't worry, it's all good, now let me at it"
In closing on this chapter I must admit, I don't know if I have this, or if I know the rules of the game and how to play it, I've fucked up so many times that I've considered myself "the eternal fuck up" and guess what, he never wins. But the point is all you can do is try and hope that those around you are willing to realize that you are only human and not hold you to a superhuman standard and of course and most important forgive you. We all do it, no one can say they haven't, no one is ever perfect but the again I'm just repeating shit that has been said since the beginning of language, so I'll stop.
Hopefully you just have people out there that understand you and are willing to let you be so you can do what you have to do to survive hell or nightmare mode. If it's easy for you then congrats, you're a newb to life or it's just treating you well, but for most of us old souls, it's a bitch and we chose it that way, eventually you get bored, everyone does and you decide to play the game again with a higher price and a higher prize.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
A card found
My sister was using one of my books to write on and I was flipping through it and found a card.
"My Picasso-Face
I love you and will always love you even if I'm a flesh eating zombie. I know sometimes we find it hard to get along but I feel that every obstacle we overcome brings us closer together. I fall more in love with you ever day and I am learning to let go of all the stuff I brought with me. Thank you for every back rub, every word of encouragement and most of all, thank you for loving me.
Your Darlin,
Happy Valentines day!"
ahh, the good old days.
"My Picasso-Face
I love you and will always love you even if I'm a flesh eating zombie. I know sometimes we find it hard to get along but I feel that every obstacle we overcome brings us closer together. I fall more in love with you ever day and I am learning to let go of all the stuff I brought with me. Thank you for every back rub, every word of encouragement and most of all, thank you for loving me.
Your Darlin,
Happy Valentines day!"
ahh, the good old days.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
September 1st
Three years ago today I met the most wonderful woman on the planet. If you've caught up, or been reading you would have read my post about how I met her, my first real date and all that.
We wound up living together, it was the happiest times of my life. I cooked for her and she cooked for me. 3 or 4 months ago she broke up with me. but that's beside the point.
within the 2 years we spent together there were adventures. It started out small, we'd go to kerville and wander around, shop at hastings, go to the park. We'd go to San Antonio and shop at various stores, I'd go with her and look around while she clothes shopped, it never bothered me and it always made her happy. We'd hit up best buy. I took my first road trip where I was required to drive. We went to colorado. We wandered the street, 6th street? 4th? I forget but its like a huge outdoor strip mall of sorts. I bought my first book that I actually sat and read. We went to red rocks and saw death cab for cutie, we came back in time to catch the bandits. Austin, more shows in san antonio. She gave me confidence, she taught me how to live and go do things.
3 years ago my life changed. and 3 months ago it changed again. She moved out but we were together, living a strange but fun double life was fun. I'd spend the weekends there, spend the week here. I taught her how to live an easy life, just chillin. Which caught up to her and she needed to be more productive. I miss painting with her. I taught her about early drinking days and she taught me to stop, sit outside and star gaze. The world felt bigger, I was reminded that there's more than just the few towns I visit, the few things I do.
It gets easy, it gets harder, but such is life. the tide will roll in a bit, roll on back out, sometimes it comes up on the beach more so than it did.
I dunno, I had a bigger post planned with more details, but my mind is too jumbled at the moment. But 3 years ago I learned to love again. I had the most beautiful girl in the world with an ass to boot. I worshiped the ground she walked on.
We wound up living together, it was the happiest times of my life. I cooked for her and she cooked for me. 3 or 4 months ago she broke up with me. but that's beside the point.
within the 2 years we spent together there were adventures. It started out small, we'd go to kerville and wander around, shop at hastings, go to the park. We'd go to San Antonio and shop at various stores, I'd go with her and look around while she clothes shopped, it never bothered me and it always made her happy. We'd hit up best buy. I took my first road trip where I was required to drive. We went to colorado. We wandered the street, 6th street? 4th? I forget but its like a huge outdoor strip mall of sorts. I bought my first book that I actually sat and read. We went to red rocks and saw death cab for cutie, we came back in time to catch the bandits. Austin, more shows in san antonio. She gave me confidence, she taught me how to live and go do things.
3 years ago my life changed. and 3 months ago it changed again. She moved out but we were together, living a strange but fun double life was fun. I'd spend the weekends there, spend the week here. I taught her how to live an easy life, just chillin. Which caught up to her and she needed to be more productive. I miss painting with her. I taught her about early drinking days and she taught me to stop, sit outside and star gaze. The world felt bigger, I was reminded that there's more than just the few towns I visit, the few things I do.
It gets easy, it gets harder, but such is life. the tide will roll in a bit, roll on back out, sometimes it comes up on the beach more so than it did.
I dunno, I had a bigger post planned with more details, but my mind is too jumbled at the moment. But 3 years ago I learned to love again. I had the most beautiful girl in the world with an ass to boot. I worshiped the ground she walked on.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Sunday pool playing
I went to work yesterday, it was nice outside when I left. Seemed like it would be a good day, other than the migraine I had, which sucked because I never get migraines, they suck apparently. Jen rode in with me so I could drop her off at Laura's house to help with etsy orders. Got to work Bobby was already there and drinkin and chatting with Sandra, I started on the cigar lounge. Anthony and English Chris came in. I did all my work and then sat and had a beer.
Anthony had apparently been on a 36 hour drunk, as he had been drinking hardcore all weekend(he doesn't usually do that to my knowledge). It was hilarious talking to anthony while he was shitfaced and english chris wasn't a total asshole to me. I don't think he ever really intended to be one, he's just British.
I had a few, they kept playing catch up with eachother, one would finish and the other would have half a beer. until finally sandra said she'd go too. So we went to the saloon to see... Cindy? Sharon? I forgot her name but they like going and seeing her and funny enough I knew who they were talking about cause I hang at the saloon on sundays. hah. So we go, I whipped chris' ass at pool but scratched on the 8ball and lost. Anthony kicked my ass and I think kicked Chris' ass aswell and then he beat us both in cut-throat. I played the doors, jack johnson, the bandits, good old war and some stevie ray vaughn on the jukebox. Diane came and got anthony so I sat and finished my beer, his beer and got one for chris. Then we all took off. I stopped by the wine bar to grab the shit I forgot and then went and got some modelo's and went to Laura and James' house. Chilled there for a bit then me and Jen came home and finished up the season of big bang theory and started on scrubs before I was too tired to watch anymore and we passed out. It was a fun fucking day and just what I needed after the interesting weekend I had of hanging out with Renea. Oh me and her saved a girl's life. Not literally, but we rescued her from her jackass of a boyfriend/date(not sure). No one ever said I don't save lives. Done it a few times at the wine bar.
Anthony had apparently been on a 36 hour drunk, as he had been drinking hardcore all weekend(he doesn't usually do that to my knowledge). It was hilarious talking to anthony while he was shitfaced and english chris wasn't a total asshole to me. I don't think he ever really intended to be one, he's just British.
I had a few, they kept playing catch up with eachother, one would finish and the other would have half a beer. until finally sandra said she'd go too. So we went to the saloon to see... Cindy? Sharon? I forgot her name but they like going and seeing her and funny enough I knew who they were talking about cause I hang at the saloon on sundays. hah. So we go, I whipped chris' ass at pool but scratched on the 8ball and lost. Anthony kicked my ass and I think kicked Chris' ass aswell and then he beat us both in cut-throat. I played the doors, jack johnson, the bandits, good old war and some stevie ray vaughn on the jukebox. Diane came and got anthony so I sat and finished my beer, his beer and got one for chris. Then we all took off. I stopped by the wine bar to grab the shit I forgot and then went and got some modelo's and went to Laura and James' house. Chilled there for a bit then me and Jen came home and finished up the season of big bang theory and started on scrubs before I was too tired to watch anymore and we passed out. It was a fun fucking day and just what I needed after the interesting weekend I had of hanging out with Renea. Oh me and her saved a girl's life. Not literally, but we rescued her from her jackass of a boyfriend/date(not sure). No one ever said I don't save lives. Done it a few times at the wine bar.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Yeah I've been loved... Yeah I've been fucked, So what?
On the way to pick up your car and so you could help your sister with a house you gave me the news. You're moving out. The time between those words and getting back home felt like the world was ending. Suddenly it all made sense, it wasn't just that you were wanting to hang out with your sister more, it was that you were helping fix the place up. Last night and this morning, "Look me in the eye and tell me you love me" and all the I love you's before and after and the snuggles, they were all out of fear or guilt that you hadn't been able to tell me yet. It's my fault you thought that I would be pissed, that I would be angry. I was more angry that you had waited this time to tell me. That you couldn't tell me. Now it seems as though it is almost done so I guess I'll be helping you move out soon. Will this work? I have no idea.
The way home with the beer and the water, ignoring breakfast, the streams just kept coming. Cassadega in the background. Trying to sing, trying to get my mind off of it, but failing miserably. Thoughts of what would happen if I just took out a pole. That would never happen as that's not my way and with my luck I would do nothing more than fuck up the truck.
It's all my fault. You fell in my lap as quickly as I stood up under that wooden plank at the end of the bar. I never wanted this for anyone, which is why I never dated for those three years I was single. I didn't want someone to live in this hell hole squat house that I do. Everyone is used to living in a house that atleast is insulated enough, that doesn't have air escaping and intruding, where the floors aren't caving in at places, where there's no mold growing in condemned rooms. I've been here for 16 years, fighting with this house trying to keep it alive.
I've not saved a dime to build the house I've wanted and been afraid to move. I'm still a kid when it comes to the real world. I'm selfish, I enjoy my free time too much and I hate working too much. I don't want to be one of those people with 3 jobs just so I can live in the house you want with the white picket fence and the nice kitchen that you won't ever cook much in. I'm content with luxury squatting awhile more so I can save up for my house. Not paying rent, only paying my electricity bill with free DSL to boot. I don't need cable access or TV streaming and dumbing me down, but there's things I do need and most places won't have that. Not the places I'd like to live or the place you want to live.
So here I sit with the two beers I've opened and ignoring breakfast. It's that time again. It's that time for me to let it all go and wallow in my own self pity and hatred for this earth. It's time for me to fail at holding it all together again. I didn't respond to your text. I'm tired of being the better person, the one who's always there who knows how to fix it who can solve it who can help who can comfort. I'm tired of feeling like I'm holding up the world for everyone, that without me it would all come crashing down. These allegations are truly and most likely false, but I can't help how I feel. I can't do this all the time. I break just like everyone else, even if I don't want to admit it and it's been awhile since I've been broken.
Sitting here. Indulging myself. It's all I can do not to burn this house down and flee to some other state, where I'd most likely be right where I don't want to be.
I'm a cartoon. You're a full moon. Let's stay up
The way home with the beer and the water, ignoring breakfast, the streams just kept coming. Cassadega in the background. Trying to sing, trying to get my mind off of it, but failing miserably. Thoughts of what would happen if I just took out a pole. That would never happen as that's not my way and with my luck I would do nothing more than fuck up the truck.
It's all my fault. You fell in my lap as quickly as I stood up under that wooden plank at the end of the bar. I never wanted this for anyone, which is why I never dated for those three years I was single. I didn't want someone to live in this hell hole squat house that I do. Everyone is used to living in a house that atleast is insulated enough, that doesn't have air escaping and intruding, where the floors aren't caving in at places, where there's no mold growing in condemned rooms. I've been here for 16 years, fighting with this house trying to keep it alive.
I've not saved a dime to build the house I've wanted and been afraid to move. I'm still a kid when it comes to the real world. I'm selfish, I enjoy my free time too much and I hate working too much. I don't want to be one of those people with 3 jobs just so I can live in the house you want with the white picket fence and the nice kitchen that you won't ever cook much in. I'm content with luxury squatting awhile more so I can save up for my house. Not paying rent, only paying my electricity bill with free DSL to boot. I don't need cable access or TV streaming and dumbing me down, but there's things I do need and most places won't have that. Not the places I'd like to live or the place you want to live.
So here I sit with the two beers I've opened and ignoring breakfast. It's that time again. It's that time for me to let it all go and wallow in my own self pity and hatred for this earth. It's time for me to fail at holding it all together again. I didn't respond to your text. I'm tired of being the better person, the one who's always there who knows how to fix it who can solve it who can help who can comfort. I'm tired of feeling like I'm holding up the world for everyone, that without me it would all come crashing down. These allegations are truly and most likely false, but I can't help how I feel. I can't do this all the time. I break just like everyone else, even if I don't want to admit it and it's been awhile since I've been broken.
Sitting here. Indulging myself. It's all I can do not to burn this house down and flee to some other state, where I'd most likely be right where I don't want to be.
I'm a cartoon. You're a full moon. Let's stay up
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Déja vu
Déja vu has always driven me mad. I have these dreams. Realistic meaningless dreams. then awhile later, a week, two weeks, a month, a year, years later I have Déja vu and remember dreaming about it. More times than not when I have these dreams I tell Jen. The kicker is Jen never ever remembers them. I know what's going to happen down to the next word that's said or where we wind up later that day, but I'm always afraid to predict it cause that would be too weird.
Awhile after dating Renea My boss and her boyfriend went out of town and were leaving the dogs and asked us to go feed them twice that week. Renea had been out there once before when I had to take her home but had to do some last minute food prep at their house cause we ran out of pesto, so she'd seen the place. But never the stage they had set up for the music festivals we used to have so I decided to show her. While pulling up the driveway in to their place Déja vu struck, I hadn't told Jen about it and she wasn't with us, but it happened. It's moments like these that make me feel like everything is right in the world, I'm on he right track no matter how shitty life can be and if it happened before why not try it again.
Another dream came back to me in those moments.
When I was about 16, I awoke from my slumber and I couldn't sleep, so I threw on an album by "The sound of animals fighting" called "tiger and the duke" and went back to sleep. When I woke this time I was staring up at the ceiling with my NWO T-Shirt tacked to it and the various posters I had of the bands I listened to at the time, slipknot, mudvayne, korn and the like. I still had the images reeling through my head. I was laying in bed with a cute little blonde girl, but I wasn't in my room. I was in my living room with the bed against the wall of the small room my sister used to be in, with the TV in front of the kitchen and a comforter on over my sliding glass door that I had never seen before. We were in love, we were snuggling. I felt warm. I felt at home. I felt love again.
I later asked Jen if she remembered me telling her this dream. She did, this was a first in my entire life. And it was happening. I was already in my living room and Renea had been staying over quite alot. 4 years ago I'd had a dream about Renea. I didn't know her, there wasn't a face I could remember, but it occurred to me that it was her and that this was life and I was supposed to be with her, supposed to meet her. The bump on the head that made me talk to her and the instant vibe we got from each other wasn't just a coincidence.
These things remind me that we were all here before or that we knew this was going to happen. We're supposed to be here right now, no matter how fucked up this all is. Even if it's just for right now, this is what's supposed to be, this is fate, this is the universe and this is everything. This is life, this time.
Awhile after dating Renea My boss and her boyfriend went out of town and were leaving the dogs and asked us to go feed them twice that week. Renea had been out there once before when I had to take her home but had to do some last minute food prep at their house cause we ran out of pesto, so she'd seen the place. But never the stage they had set up for the music festivals we used to have so I decided to show her. While pulling up the driveway in to their place Déja vu struck, I hadn't told Jen about it and she wasn't with us, but it happened. It's moments like these that make me feel like everything is right in the world, I'm on he right track no matter how shitty life can be and if it happened before why not try it again.
Another dream came back to me in those moments.
When I was about 16, I awoke from my slumber and I couldn't sleep, so I threw on an album by "The sound of animals fighting" called "tiger and the duke" and went back to sleep. When I woke this time I was staring up at the ceiling with my NWO T-Shirt tacked to it and the various posters I had of the bands I listened to at the time, slipknot, mudvayne, korn and the like. I still had the images reeling through my head. I was laying in bed with a cute little blonde girl, but I wasn't in my room. I was in my living room with the bed against the wall of the small room my sister used to be in, with the TV in front of the kitchen and a comforter on over my sliding glass door that I had never seen before. We were in love, we were snuggling. I felt warm. I felt at home. I felt love again.
I later asked Jen if she remembered me telling her this dream. She did, this was a first in my entire life. And it was happening. I was already in my living room and Renea had been staying over quite alot. 4 years ago I'd had a dream about Renea. I didn't know her, there wasn't a face I could remember, but it occurred to me that it was her and that this was life and I was supposed to be with her, supposed to meet her. The bump on the head that made me talk to her and the instant vibe we got from each other wasn't just a coincidence.
These things remind me that we were all here before or that we knew this was going to happen. We're supposed to be here right now, no matter how fucked up this all is. Even if it's just for right now, this is what's supposed to be, this is fate, this is the universe and this is everything. This is life, this time.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Burn to shine
Me: "What the hell, do all the guys on this have awesome beards?!"
Jen: "You've been pissed this entire time haven't you?"
Me: "Pretty much, this is ridiculous. You know I posted on twitter the other day that my current project besides staying awesome, was growing a professional beard? I'm gonna buy some god damned steroids JUST so I can grow some damn Hair!"
Jen: "But, then you'd be fired or get disqualified"
Me: "What?"
Jen: "Because you are growing a professional beard and you're cheating by taking steroids"
Me: "OHhhhhhh!!!!"
***Laughter***
Jen: "You've been pissed this entire time haven't you?"
Me: "Pretty much, this is ridiculous. You know I posted on twitter the other day that my current project besides staying awesome, was growing a professional beard? I'm gonna buy some god damned steroids JUST so I can grow some damn Hair!"
Jen: "But, then you'd be fired or get disqualified"
Me: "What?"
Jen: "Because you are growing a professional beard and you're cheating by taking steroids"
Me: "OHhhhhhh!!!!"
***Laughter***
bbq at nea's and swimming
Sunday:
So we had an interesting morning. Then we wound up starting to set up for the bbq and lost track of time. I knew Renea had to meet laura at the coffee shop at noon. We were only gonna be like 10 minutes late, so it wasn't too bad. So we pull up in the vette, I was in the vette because there was a Picnic at the river for the electric co-op my dad works at and he needed the truck to take my mom and sisters. Anyways, so we get there. As we are getting out Renea mentions how she's a bit nervous to be meeting up with this megan chick. Now, as surprised as I was to hear that it wasn't just laura, I was also thrown off because my last-ish ex-girlfriend was named megan. So she explains how it's almost like a business meeting and such and how I can sit outside and smoke cigarettes. Well for one it was like 96 degrees outside. Secondly that seemed more weird than me sitting at their table in silence. I was probably wrong about that but oh well.
So we order our drinks and then they were going to get some, so we sat down. I did just that. Didn't speak a word and just read twitter and textsfromlastnight the whole time. I hadn't eaten. Coffee of this intensity gives me a bit of a stomach ache and I thought it was stronger than usual but didn't really think of it. So I kept drinking and halfway through felt bad. The whole thing maybe lasted 10 minutes, but then Renea and Laura were catching up and it was mostly about their etsy stuff and while very mildly talented in artsy stuff I think I have a certain uniqueness of quasi-suckiness that some people enjoy, but alas, I have no etsy at the moment. Anyways so I take a cig break and there are these awesome comfy new rocking chairs. After I'm done I actually was hyped up on coffee and slightly hung over from saturday at the saloon watching daryll lee rush, so I asked a chick where they got them cause I wanted some. They told me that I was one of many people to ask and on the bulletin board its a question to remind them to ask the manager where they came from. So I walk back and read txts from last night some more, finish that and play a few games. I did talk about Shelley freaking out about selling a quilt and a bit about blue hair but that was it. This didn't bother me though, they needed to catch up and if I don't have anything to say, why try? Besides there were some god damned gems of texts on that site that day, it took everything in me not to crack up laughing quite a few times.
So after saying our goodbyes and inviting them to the bbq, we head to the car, I give renea the rest of my coffee and she says how it tastes like they added 2 extra shots of espresso to it. No wonder. We picked up the stuff for the burgers, I noted to grab the Jonny spice and such from my house when I went to pick up my sister Jen and then we headed out after not finding alot of shit we needed. We still managed. We were planning on drinking a beer at a bar, because it was sunday and we've never done that.
When Me, Renea and Jen went to colorado to see Death Cab For Cutie play at red rocks we stopped at the tattered corner, Renea's favorite book store in the world. I was looking for something good for Jen, I like finding quircky gems for people. I was looking at a half priced rack when a bright bright yellow spine caught me eye, it said "Ruining it for everyone". Naturally... I had to look. I flip it over and the one thing that stands out to me is "Buddhism for drunkards". I must have this book, especially for $2.99 so I bought it. I didn't read, it takes me like 4 times of reading one page to retain what I read, or I get stuck on the lines and read the same line 3 times not even realizing it and then can't find where to move down. I've had the problem my whole life. But I got it. It was a slightly larger text and a smaller book in size, it wasn't as tall. So it was easier. I read that book in line at red rocks, I read it in the hotel we took over, I read it in the car on the way home. It literally changed my life. But the point is at the very end when him and his girl are chilling at the gates of hell(which is cony island), they wind up splashing in the water a bit, sorta falling for each other and then they both go up to a bar on cony island and by a beer in the early afternoon on a sunday. Which if I remember correctly was their tradition, having a beer in a bar on a sunday.
But--- We had no time. It was already 2, the shit went down at 3, we had things to prepare, people to get, things to tune, figuring out how to use the grill, psyching myself out to grill as I'd never done it before, psyching myself out for a large group of people, psyching myself out to rock some jams on Jen's guitar and remembering not to get shitfaced and make a fool of myself. Oh yeah and Renea stayed to slice dice and chop shit while I went to get Jen. I made it back to her place late, but everyone was late. We got settled in and I pace around untill I could mix up my burgers, lord knows if I had sat down I would have been a few beers in by the time everyone got there. Oh and Renea was rocking Daryll lee rush, so I couldn't play guitar. I set up the grill and all that. Got to mix up my burgers and we went for mequite.
We got the mesquite which was all up under this tree. We went back, I had to help renea over the fence between her and her parents place because there's barbed wire and she was in a nice new dress she bought. We set up the grill, I light it up and walk away to wash my hands. The shit was damn near out when I walked back out there. I remembered it was uncovered and rained a few days before. So I soak it. That doesn't work. We light it, spray half a bottle of that starter shit in to it making 5 foot flames. That didn't work. I wished I had gasoline, but I didn't. we kept trying till i got some weird metal stabby pron things and used them to get most of the mesquite out. Then I threw in charcoal. Which goes against everything in my body. I felt sick doing it, but people were hungry. That did the trick. I threw in another small chunk and then started grilling. James was playing guitar which was a nice soundtrack and then he took a break and we chatted about tatoo's and such.
Sunday Evening:
Everyone wound up out with us even though it was hot as balls and we chilled. Everyone enjoyed the burgers and James said it was the best he had next to the one at his parents restaurant. I wasn't hungry much, though I hadn't eaten much. I was far too nervous. But I ate the shit out of some potato salad that our friend alyssa made, which was just what I needed. We wound up jamming awhile longer before James and Laura had to split and I wound up singing "Sink florida Sink". I remember being fairly decent, So I don't think I was that bad. Renea and Jen wound up not helping me on back ups. I think Renea might have been surprised by it, I've never busted out a whole song and not only not fucked it to hell, but sang it without the lyrics in front of me. Jen was a bit nervous, but I had sang it friday and I did the "Whoa's" differently. I told her it would be normal, but she wasn't sure. So I did it solo.
Afterward James was playing a taking back sunday song and I couldn't remember the lyrics for shit, so we gave up. Decided to make a list of songs with the tabs and lyrics for us to practice with so we could actually fuckin jam. I helped clean everything up and stepped back out for a smoke. Renea joined me. we were just about done when we hear all this laughter from inside. We walk in to Jen, Miriam(Renea's sis) and alyssa taking turns on the rolly chair slidding through the living room and the dining room. it was classic. It went from the to sliding on a pillow acrossed the floor to crab walk races, in which i bashed my head on a coffee table. I was doing olympic sock spins, and they all told me to dip down like I was ice skating, which never worked and caused me to fall spinning on my side. After awhile of that fun, Alyssa took off and then we watched alice in wonderland. I fell asleep at the end and then me and Renea crashed out, Jen and miriam started watching wolfman though.
Monday:
I was woken up far too early to the sound of Renea's phone going off. She checked it and started texting, I was falling back asleep when she got up and I asked her what she was doing. "Going to make Coffee" she said and I asked "You coming back?" no, she wasn't. Apparently her and her mom are starting a tradition to have coffee together. So I try to sleep, but of course I can't. I asked Renea if she'd get me some water, but she said she wasn't coming back in here. So I grabbed some water. Again tried to sleep and couldn't so I got up. Her and her mom had to run to the rim to get a dress for her mom. She'd be back in 2 hours and then we'd go swimming.
We wound up watching "Nothing to lose" which was hilarious as hell, Miriam wound up going tubing with her friends, so after that I finished up folding Renea's clothes and unpacked her stuff some more and then straightened up the other various stuff. Me and Jen moved a book case to the side of the breezeway that will be her studio. Renea got back shortly after I hung one of her lighter scarves from the ceiling fan which kept slapping us and giving us a refreshing cool breeze as the AC wasn't on. We got our stuff together and took off. Got a soda, water, beer and river shoes and headed down. We had a blast, it was shallow in some parts deeper in others and most of the places where it came up to our chests was fast enough that we couldn't just stand. There was a huge boulder and it was like 12 feet deep so we could jump off of it. We wound up swimming for like 2 hours. Then we went to this mexican food joint and ran in to miriam there! I ate my whole plate, which never happens and then we took off. Grabbed some benadryl for Jen and headed back to the house. We all showered and then watched some "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" untill it was dark and re-watched Wolfman, I fell asleep at the end, same as Alice in wonderland. Then Renea went to crash, Miriam I think fell asleep at the end too. It was still pretty early so I stayed up and watched almost all of "August" with her and then I went to pass out.
It was a good fun little weekend and the last sunday I have off until the end of summer due to summer hours at the wine bar, which isn't great for my social life, but it is what it is. Tuesday on our way back from town to go home I stopped back by Renea's and dropped off a bouquet of flowers while everyone was gone and left it in a vase on the coffee table.
So we had an interesting morning. Then we wound up starting to set up for the bbq and lost track of time. I knew Renea had to meet laura at the coffee shop at noon. We were only gonna be like 10 minutes late, so it wasn't too bad. So we pull up in the vette, I was in the vette because there was a Picnic at the river for the electric co-op my dad works at and he needed the truck to take my mom and sisters. Anyways, so we get there. As we are getting out Renea mentions how she's a bit nervous to be meeting up with this megan chick. Now, as surprised as I was to hear that it wasn't just laura, I was also thrown off because my last-ish ex-girlfriend was named megan. So she explains how it's almost like a business meeting and such and how I can sit outside and smoke cigarettes. Well for one it was like 96 degrees outside. Secondly that seemed more weird than me sitting at their table in silence. I was probably wrong about that but oh well.
So we order our drinks and then they were going to get some, so we sat down. I did just that. Didn't speak a word and just read twitter and textsfromlastnight the whole time. I hadn't eaten. Coffee of this intensity gives me a bit of a stomach ache and I thought it was stronger than usual but didn't really think of it. So I kept drinking and halfway through felt bad. The whole thing maybe lasted 10 minutes, but then Renea and Laura were catching up and it was mostly about their etsy stuff and while very mildly talented in artsy stuff I think I have a certain uniqueness of quasi-suckiness that some people enjoy, but alas, I have no etsy at the moment. Anyways so I take a cig break and there are these awesome comfy new rocking chairs. After I'm done I actually was hyped up on coffee and slightly hung over from saturday at the saloon watching daryll lee rush, so I asked a chick where they got them cause I wanted some. They told me that I was one of many people to ask and on the bulletin board its a question to remind them to ask the manager where they came from. So I walk back and read txts from last night some more, finish that and play a few games. I did talk about Shelley freaking out about selling a quilt and a bit about blue hair but that was it. This didn't bother me though, they needed to catch up and if I don't have anything to say, why try? Besides there were some god damned gems of texts on that site that day, it took everything in me not to crack up laughing quite a few times.
So after saying our goodbyes and inviting them to the bbq, we head to the car, I give renea the rest of my coffee and she says how it tastes like they added 2 extra shots of espresso to it. No wonder. We picked up the stuff for the burgers, I noted to grab the Jonny spice and such from my house when I went to pick up my sister Jen and then we headed out after not finding alot of shit we needed. We still managed. We were planning on drinking a beer at a bar, because it was sunday and we've never done that.
When Me, Renea and Jen went to colorado to see Death Cab For Cutie play at red rocks we stopped at the tattered corner, Renea's favorite book store in the world. I was looking for something good for Jen, I like finding quircky gems for people. I was looking at a half priced rack when a bright bright yellow spine caught me eye, it said "Ruining it for everyone". Naturally... I had to look. I flip it over and the one thing that stands out to me is "Buddhism for drunkards". I must have this book, especially for $2.99 so I bought it. I didn't read, it takes me like 4 times of reading one page to retain what I read, or I get stuck on the lines and read the same line 3 times not even realizing it and then can't find where to move down. I've had the problem my whole life. But I got it. It was a slightly larger text and a smaller book in size, it wasn't as tall. So it was easier. I read that book in line at red rocks, I read it in the hotel we took over, I read it in the car on the way home. It literally changed my life. But the point is at the very end when him and his girl are chilling at the gates of hell(which is cony island), they wind up splashing in the water a bit, sorta falling for each other and then they both go up to a bar on cony island and by a beer in the early afternoon on a sunday. Which if I remember correctly was their tradition, having a beer in a bar on a sunday.
But--- We had no time. It was already 2, the shit went down at 3, we had things to prepare, people to get, things to tune, figuring out how to use the grill, psyching myself out to grill as I'd never done it before, psyching myself out for a large group of people, psyching myself out to rock some jams on Jen's guitar and remembering not to get shitfaced and make a fool of myself. Oh yeah and Renea stayed to slice dice and chop shit while I went to get Jen. I made it back to her place late, but everyone was late. We got settled in and I pace around untill I could mix up my burgers, lord knows if I had sat down I would have been a few beers in by the time everyone got there. Oh and Renea was rocking Daryll lee rush, so I couldn't play guitar. I set up the grill and all that. Got to mix up my burgers and we went for mequite.
We got the mesquite which was all up under this tree. We went back, I had to help renea over the fence between her and her parents place because there's barbed wire and she was in a nice new dress she bought. We set up the grill, I light it up and walk away to wash my hands. The shit was damn near out when I walked back out there. I remembered it was uncovered and rained a few days before. So I soak it. That doesn't work. We light it, spray half a bottle of that starter shit in to it making 5 foot flames. That didn't work. I wished I had gasoline, but I didn't. we kept trying till i got some weird metal stabby pron things and used them to get most of the mesquite out. Then I threw in charcoal. Which goes against everything in my body. I felt sick doing it, but people were hungry. That did the trick. I threw in another small chunk and then started grilling. James was playing guitar which was a nice soundtrack and then he took a break and we chatted about tatoo's and such.
Sunday Evening:
Everyone wound up out with us even though it was hot as balls and we chilled. Everyone enjoyed the burgers and James said it was the best he had next to the one at his parents restaurant. I wasn't hungry much, though I hadn't eaten much. I was far too nervous. But I ate the shit out of some potato salad that our friend alyssa made, which was just what I needed. We wound up jamming awhile longer before James and Laura had to split and I wound up singing "Sink florida Sink". I remember being fairly decent, So I don't think I was that bad. Renea and Jen wound up not helping me on back ups. I think Renea might have been surprised by it, I've never busted out a whole song and not only not fucked it to hell, but sang it without the lyrics in front of me. Jen was a bit nervous, but I had sang it friday and I did the "Whoa's" differently. I told her it would be normal, but she wasn't sure. So I did it solo.
Afterward James was playing a taking back sunday song and I couldn't remember the lyrics for shit, so we gave up. Decided to make a list of songs with the tabs and lyrics for us to practice with so we could actually fuckin jam. I helped clean everything up and stepped back out for a smoke. Renea joined me. we were just about done when we hear all this laughter from inside. We walk in to Jen, Miriam(Renea's sis) and alyssa taking turns on the rolly chair slidding through the living room and the dining room. it was classic. It went from the to sliding on a pillow acrossed the floor to crab walk races, in which i bashed my head on a coffee table. I was doing olympic sock spins, and they all told me to dip down like I was ice skating, which never worked and caused me to fall spinning on my side. After awhile of that fun, Alyssa took off and then we watched alice in wonderland. I fell asleep at the end and then me and Renea crashed out, Jen and miriam started watching wolfman though.
Monday:
I was woken up far too early to the sound of Renea's phone going off. She checked it and started texting, I was falling back asleep when she got up and I asked her what she was doing. "Going to make Coffee" she said and I asked "You coming back?" no, she wasn't. Apparently her and her mom are starting a tradition to have coffee together. So I try to sleep, but of course I can't. I asked Renea if she'd get me some water, but she said she wasn't coming back in here. So I grabbed some water. Again tried to sleep and couldn't so I got up. Her and her mom had to run to the rim to get a dress for her mom. She'd be back in 2 hours and then we'd go swimming.
We wound up watching "Nothing to lose" which was hilarious as hell, Miriam wound up going tubing with her friends, so after that I finished up folding Renea's clothes and unpacked her stuff some more and then straightened up the other various stuff. Me and Jen moved a book case to the side of the breezeway that will be her studio. Renea got back shortly after I hung one of her lighter scarves from the ceiling fan which kept slapping us and giving us a refreshing cool breeze as the AC wasn't on. We got our stuff together and took off. Got a soda, water, beer and river shoes and headed down. We had a blast, it was shallow in some parts deeper in others and most of the places where it came up to our chests was fast enough that we couldn't just stand. There was a huge boulder and it was like 12 feet deep so we could jump off of it. We wound up swimming for like 2 hours. Then we went to this mexican food joint and ran in to miriam there! I ate my whole plate, which never happens and then we took off. Grabbed some benadryl for Jen and headed back to the house. We all showered and then watched some "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" untill it was dark and re-watched Wolfman, I fell asleep at the end, same as Alice in wonderland. Then Renea went to crash, Miriam I think fell asleep at the end too. It was still pretty early so I stayed up and watched almost all of "August" with her and then I went to pass out.
It was a good fun little weekend and the last sunday I have off until the end of summer due to summer hours at the wine bar, which isn't great for my social life, but it is what it is. Tuesday on our way back from town to go home I stopped back by Renea's and dropped off a bouquet of flowers while everyone was gone and left it in a vase on the coffee table.
Darrly Lee Rush
After an interesting Thursday/Friday of which both nights I wound up at blue genes, but oddly enough the night I closed the place down(I was there untill last call), I wasn't drunk or anything. Had maybe 3 beers and then a kamikaze for the road as it won't hit me till I'm home. This guy, Erik, that works at the grocery store with my girly has been chillin with us as of recently, but it was just me and dad those two nights, he came out and chilled at BG's with us aswell.
Saturday started off slow. It looked slow, felt slow and was slow. I didn't get an order untill 7:30. I spent most of the time chillin with Renea as I hadn't seen her in a few days now that she's moved out and back on to her grandparents land. So around 7:45 7 o'clock My boss told me to dust all the wine bottles on the floor, quite thoroughly as to kill time untill we closed, we were trying to make it out by 9 to go see a band Melissa from gunslingers had slated to play at the saloon. I start on that, get some orders and play cook and cleaner at the same time, which happens more often than you would think as I'm pretty much a grunt more times than not. We finally close down and had to tell one of our saturday patrons(Tom) that we were closing but going to the saloon. So he took off and we went. We got there, got our brews, the bartender remembered that I'm a Red Stripe drinker and apparently they were trying to get rid of them so they were only a buck a pop(fuck yes). We sit with Jim and Melissa as Renea has been working for them so I thought it would be a good idea to chill with them a bit. Sandra went and caught up with her bro, some of our patrons and my co-worker Shelley.
The band was good, it wasn't bullshit country music that I can't stand, it was like down home texas folk. They had a song about catching a 5 pound bass that they interwove with Johnny Cash's Folsom prison and one other original that I can't recall a hook that would make me think of a name to mention. They called it a Quadrupulicy(hah). Sandra came and sat with all of us for a bit, renea went to get a round and I wrote a song, my boss was freaked out, wondering what I was writing, so I told her I was writing a song and let her read it. We wound up sitting with the gang back by the pool tables and Dietmar(boss' bro) challenged me to a game and kicked my ass, but I hadn't played pool in months. We chatted with the group untill everyone slowly started to leave.
Me and Nea were just about to leave when in walks Tom, with his old highschool buddy that he reconnected with on facebook. He wanted to buy us a beer but we were ready so we said we'd split one. He insisted and bought us two, I think he just wanted company or something. We got those and mildly chatted with them. Renea mentioned the go-girl and the girl wanted one apparently. I walked in on the ass end of the conversation as I was in the bathroom, so I started laughing my ass off at it. Then Tom told us that when he pisses outside he squats. I laughed, not taking him seriously till he said he had a piercing and I was like "Oh shit you have a prince albert?" I so didn't want to know that or get a visual but it was out there, his friend wanted to see, oh yeah, she was a girl by the way. I exclaimed "NO!" "atleast not right here". He wound up lifting his shirt and pointed to his nipple, which was also pierced and said "It looks like this only larger and on my dick" again I didn't want to see or hear any of this. Finally we got off the damn topic and then I invited her to sit at our table as he was getting another round. She said how she hadn't been laid since november, I told her how I could top that as I went 3 years once untill I met renea(those were some frustrating horrible years filled with so much porn I've pretty much seen it all). Then she said how she wanted him but he didn't want to fuck up a friendship. I knew he didn't want it cause she was a bit hefty. That doesn't bother me at all, but it bothers most. So I told her, the way to get in his pants is to be forward and go for it, Renea cut me off and said exactly what I was about to say "Just grab his dick through his jeans and rub it telling him what you want to do to him". She laughed and said she'd consider it. I swear she was on Facebook on her phone more than in any conversation. I think she was chatting with her gal pals trying to get the ovaries to do what we had suggested.
So then we decide to go ahead and take off as again, I am shutting down a bar, they were calling last call and all that. This chick demanded my phone number and after all the beers that he had bought me(but I wasn't wasted, just buzzed), I gave it to her. Don't ask me why, she said she wanted to give me updates on how far she got, I thought it was cute, this chick was probably 10 or 15 years older than me and I thought it was hilarious. So we get back to renea's and watch some "It's always sunny in Philadelphia". I get a txt shortly after "We kissed but it was sloppy and he pulled away and didn't like it" I laughed and responded "Go for it! try harder" She responds with "LMAO You're funny" I got another one, I can't recall what it said as the beer was creeping up to my skull at this point, but I thought it was completely ridiculous and turned my phone off.
Renea falls asleep and I try to get her up but she wants to watch another episode, I knew that I'd pass out and it's a tiny couch and our backs and necks would be fucked. So I finally get her up and so she leaves me as I'm turning everything off then she comes back in to the breezeway yelling for me "What are you doing hurry up god dammit!" I tell her to give me two seconds to grab a beer to chug so I can fall asleep quickly, she yells some more and I shush her. We go around and to her room from the front porch to not wake up her sister, who she lives with now, and we go in. Her closet door was opened and the door slams in to the other door and she starts yelling again "Who opened this door? It's not my fault that I made a bang, someone is fucking with my shit, no one better get pissed at me" the whole time I'm giggling and shushing her. It was cute, I'd never seen her like this. We fall asleep.
The next morning I wake up and we wake up and all, chilling waiting for noon to meet up with laura. We take a shower and dry off and then I remember my phone's off. So I turn it on and get a txt, check it and bust out laughing. Renea asks what and I tell her the text from that chick. It was "SCOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! :D" Don't ask me why she thought I needed to know this at 5:41 in the morning, but apparently I did.
Saturday started off slow. It looked slow, felt slow and was slow. I didn't get an order untill 7:30. I spent most of the time chillin with Renea as I hadn't seen her in a few days now that she's moved out and back on to her grandparents land. So around 7:45 7 o'clock My boss told me to dust all the wine bottles on the floor, quite thoroughly as to kill time untill we closed, we were trying to make it out by 9 to go see a band Melissa from gunslingers had slated to play at the saloon. I start on that, get some orders and play cook and cleaner at the same time, which happens more often than you would think as I'm pretty much a grunt more times than not. We finally close down and had to tell one of our saturday patrons(Tom) that we were closing but going to the saloon. So he took off and we went. We got there, got our brews, the bartender remembered that I'm a Red Stripe drinker and apparently they were trying to get rid of them so they were only a buck a pop(fuck yes). We sit with Jim and Melissa as Renea has been working for them so I thought it would be a good idea to chill with them a bit. Sandra went and caught up with her bro, some of our patrons and my co-worker Shelley.
The band was good, it wasn't bullshit country music that I can't stand, it was like down home texas folk. They had a song about catching a 5 pound bass that they interwove with Johnny Cash's Folsom prison and one other original that I can't recall a hook that would make me think of a name to mention. They called it a Quadrupulicy(hah). Sandra came and sat with all of us for a bit, renea went to get a round and I wrote a song, my boss was freaked out, wondering what I was writing, so I told her I was writing a song and let her read it. We wound up sitting with the gang back by the pool tables and Dietmar(boss' bro) challenged me to a game and kicked my ass, but I hadn't played pool in months. We chatted with the group untill everyone slowly started to leave.
Me and Nea were just about to leave when in walks Tom, with his old highschool buddy that he reconnected with on facebook. He wanted to buy us a beer but we were ready so we said we'd split one. He insisted and bought us two, I think he just wanted company or something. We got those and mildly chatted with them. Renea mentioned the go-girl and the girl wanted one apparently. I walked in on the ass end of the conversation as I was in the bathroom, so I started laughing my ass off at it. Then Tom told us that when he pisses outside he squats. I laughed, not taking him seriously till he said he had a piercing and I was like "Oh shit you have a prince albert?" I so didn't want to know that or get a visual but it was out there, his friend wanted to see, oh yeah, she was a girl by the way. I exclaimed "NO!" "atleast not right here". He wound up lifting his shirt and pointed to his nipple, which was also pierced and said "It looks like this only larger and on my dick" again I didn't want to see or hear any of this. Finally we got off the damn topic and then I invited her to sit at our table as he was getting another round. She said how she hadn't been laid since november, I told her how I could top that as I went 3 years once untill I met renea(those were some frustrating horrible years filled with so much porn I've pretty much seen it all). Then she said how she wanted him but he didn't want to fuck up a friendship. I knew he didn't want it cause she was a bit hefty. That doesn't bother me at all, but it bothers most. So I told her, the way to get in his pants is to be forward and go for it, Renea cut me off and said exactly what I was about to say "Just grab his dick through his jeans and rub it telling him what you want to do to him". She laughed and said she'd consider it. I swear she was on Facebook on her phone more than in any conversation. I think she was chatting with her gal pals trying to get the ovaries to do what we had suggested.
So then we decide to go ahead and take off as again, I am shutting down a bar, they were calling last call and all that. This chick demanded my phone number and after all the beers that he had bought me(but I wasn't wasted, just buzzed), I gave it to her. Don't ask me why, she said she wanted to give me updates on how far she got, I thought it was cute, this chick was probably 10 or 15 years older than me and I thought it was hilarious. So we get back to renea's and watch some "It's always sunny in Philadelphia". I get a txt shortly after "We kissed but it was sloppy and he pulled away and didn't like it" I laughed and responded "Go for it! try harder" She responds with "LMAO You're funny" I got another one, I can't recall what it said as the beer was creeping up to my skull at this point, but I thought it was completely ridiculous and turned my phone off.
Renea falls asleep and I try to get her up but she wants to watch another episode, I knew that I'd pass out and it's a tiny couch and our backs and necks would be fucked. So I finally get her up and so she leaves me as I'm turning everything off then she comes back in to the breezeway yelling for me "What are you doing hurry up god dammit!" I tell her to give me two seconds to grab a beer to chug so I can fall asleep quickly, she yells some more and I shush her. We go around and to her room from the front porch to not wake up her sister, who she lives with now, and we go in. Her closet door was opened and the door slams in to the other door and she starts yelling again "Who opened this door? It's not my fault that I made a bang, someone is fucking with my shit, no one better get pissed at me" the whole time I'm giggling and shushing her. It was cute, I'd never seen her like this. We fall asleep.
The next morning I wake up and we wake up and all, chilling waiting for noon to meet up with laura. We take a shower and dry off and then I remember my phone's off. So I turn it on and get a txt, check it and bust out laughing. Renea asks what and I tell her the text from that chick. It was "SCOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! :D" Don't ask me why she thought I needed to know this at 5:41 in the morning, but apparently I did.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Sunday cookout get together
After a hell of a weekend, which you just read about, came sunday.
Me and Renea were invited to our friend Laura's Dad's(Tim) house for what was a dinner party which changed in to a lunch thing. I didn't know, I just knew I was going. Renea woke me up to tell me she was leaving. I had been up till 6am the night before hosting a radio show. I told her I was going to go and got myself up. Took a few swigs of wine to feel human again. We had my sister's brownie cookies to take, but that was it and we wanted more. I remembered while getting ready about the dip recipe my late aunt's and her late boyfriend's recipe for this awesome simple great dip recipe. So we drop by the grocery store for chips, beans, and the spices. Oh and beer and wine. I even brought some Jonny Spice.
We get to Laura and James' house, Laura was on her way back from her dad's and James was on his way back from work. So we sat at a table they have in their yard with some wonderful coffee from the local coffee house. Laura arrived and changed and showed 'nea one of the shirts she's been doing. James got there and had to get changed also. After that we follow them out to Tim's. I threw in my GDM(Good damn mix) as I wanted silversun pickups and forgot their CD at the house. Still half drunk from the night before and buzzed from the wine I swigged, I would up hanging out the window enjoying the wonderful cool air and overcast skies while singing at the top of my lungs to the first track, silversun pickups and The Wombats, their song "Let's dance to joy division" is gold.
We arrive, pretty much everyone is there except Laura's besty Shelly and her hubby and kids( I can only ever remember her son's name xavier and I always think thats her hubby's name), I believe his name is Dominick. Laura and James showed us around and then we wound up hanging in the back yard which had all this awesome rock work and such with nice ass outdoor speakers. I found a raised deck with a door that didn't open and stuck my head out where a window should have been. We hung out and talked, Xavier was cute, kept crawling around and staring me down. After awhile we decided to throw on the dogs. They did up some veggie dogs for renea, There were extra as Laura thought Jen was coming, Jen was too tired though, unfortunately. James tried one and said it tasted like playdough. Afterwards we chilled and people began leaving. It came down to me, renea, laura and james. We were sitting on the deck as it started to sprinkle. I was now becoming quite a bit drunk. I gave Laura a bunch of CDs I had burned for her to check out, including my good damn mix, peba luna and a handful of others. Looking back I'm not quite sure any where her style except maybe peba luna.
Me and James wound up talking about music and he was telling me how he'd written all these songs and the style of which he wrote them. I told him how I'd written a few songs on guitar and a few bass lines and offered my bass for him to use if he liked or that I would play bass on his recordings. I told him we should chill and Jam so we could share ideas and songs. We decided to go back to their place as Tim, Laura's dad was watching TV and seemingly falling asleep. So we split. I stop by Super S to get some Negra Modello in hopes James would drink one with me. We get there and he would not as he was going straight edge. I made a bit of a fool of myself saying how I dislike people who won't just have one drink with me. But alas, this is me. I want to have atleast one beer with the whole world. People just seem to relax and chill and talk more, even if it's only one beer. He was tuning his guitar, I kept telling him that High E was too high and he was going to snap it, but the tuner was being a whore. He snapped it. Then he started showing me his songs and let me peek at his tabs. I told him about this song I'd written that kind of goes like Distillers song but not really. I wound up teaching him the song and then he was soloing a bit over my chords. He started talking about how he dislikes cover bands or something of the sort and I agreed but I also admitted that I have the perfect name for a cover band and wanted to start one, just for stage practice and practice on playing music with a band. He liked the title and agreed, so that night we started a band. I was so excited I ran outside for a cig break and was leaping in the air that I was finally in a band. I was drunk off my ass at this point but I am still serious about it. I came back in and got pollen on the carpet as I was in my socks at this point. I cleaned that up, took my socks off and we jammed for a bit longer before finally heading home.
It was a wonderful day. I wrapped it up with singing my lungs out on the way home and happily passing the fuck out after telling Jen about it.
Me and Renea were invited to our friend Laura's Dad's(Tim) house for what was a dinner party which changed in to a lunch thing. I didn't know, I just knew I was going. Renea woke me up to tell me she was leaving. I had been up till 6am the night before hosting a radio show. I told her I was going to go and got myself up. Took a few swigs of wine to feel human again. We had my sister's brownie cookies to take, but that was it and we wanted more. I remembered while getting ready about the dip recipe my late aunt's and her late boyfriend's recipe for this awesome simple great dip recipe. So we drop by the grocery store for chips, beans, and the spices. Oh and beer and wine. I even brought some Jonny Spice.
We get to Laura and James' house, Laura was on her way back from her dad's and James was on his way back from work. So we sat at a table they have in their yard with some wonderful coffee from the local coffee house. Laura arrived and changed and showed 'nea one of the shirts she's been doing. James got there and had to get changed also. After that we follow them out to Tim's. I threw in my GDM(Good damn mix) as I wanted silversun pickups and forgot their CD at the house. Still half drunk from the night before and buzzed from the wine I swigged, I would up hanging out the window enjoying the wonderful cool air and overcast skies while singing at the top of my lungs to the first track, silversun pickups and The Wombats, their song "Let's dance to joy division" is gold.
We arrive, pretty much everyone is there except Laura's besty Shelly and her hubby and kids( I can only ever remember her son's name xavier and I always think thats her hubby's name), I believe his name is Dominick. Laura and James showed us around and then we wound up hanging in the back yard which had all this awesome rock work and such with nice ass outdoor speakers. I found a raised deck with a door that didn't open and stuck my head out where a window should have been. We hung out and talked, Xavier was cute, kept crawling around and staring me down. After awhile we decided to throw on the dogs. They did up some veggie dogs for renea, There were extra as Laura thought Jen was coming, Jen was too tired though, unfortunately. James tried one and said it tasted like playdough. Afterwards we chilled and people began leaving. It came down to me, renea, laura and james. We were sitting on the deck as it started to sprinkle. I was now becoming quite a bit drunk. I gave Laura a bunch of CDs I had burned for her to check out, including my good damn mix, peba luna and a handful of others. Looking back I'm not quite sure any where her style except maybe peba luna.
Me and James wound up talking about music and he was telling me how he'd written all these songs and the style of which he wrote them. I told him how I'd written a few songs on guitar and a few bass lines and offered my bass for him to use if he liked or that I would play bass on his recordings. I told him we should chill and Jam so we could share ideas and songs. We decided to go back to their place as Tim, Laura's dad was watching TV and seemingly falling asleep. So we split. I stop by Super S to get some Negra Modello in hopes James would drink one with me. We get there and he would not as he was going straight edge. I made a bit of a fool of myself saying how I dislike people who won't just have one drink with me. But alas, this is me. I want to have atleast one beer with the whole world. People just seem to relax and chill and talk more, even if it's only one beer. He was tuning his guitar, I kept telling him that High E was too high and he was going to snap it, but the tuner was being a whore. He snapped it. Then he started showing me his songs and let me peek at his tabs. I told him about this song I'd written that kind of goes like Distillers song but not really. I wound up teaching him the song and then he was soloing a bit over my chords. He started talking about how he dislikes cover bands or something of the sort and I agreed but I also admitted that I have the perfect name for a cover band and wanted to start one, just for stage practice and practice on playing music with a band. He liked the title and agreed, so that night we started a band. I was so excited I ran outside for a cig break and was leaping in the air that I was finally in a band. I was drunk off my ass at this point but I am still serious about it. I came back in and got pollen on the carpet as I was in my socks at this point. I cleaned that up, took my socks off and we jammed for a bit longer before finally heading home.
It was a wonderful day. I wrapped it up with singing my lungs out on the way home and happily passing the fuck out after telling Jen about it.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
When the univers shit on texas(or the planet)
It was a Friday like most Friday's of the past few weeks. My mom took the truck early to do grocery shopping to be back in time for me to head out to work. I get up out of bed around noon, notice Jen's here, must've been up late so she was too tired to go with mom. Get up, do my thing, head next door for General Hospital and breakfast. about a quarter to 3 my mom calls to tell me the radiator in the truck is leaking and she needs to have it checked out. So I tell her that's fine, I'll just take the Jeep. I start getting ready for work, as I will need to leave earlier. It's a 95 Jeep and it's not that fast. You can barely reach 60mph in it. Get all my shit together and head to the barn for the Jeep after filling up a few Jugs of water for IT'S radiator. Fill it up, screw the cap on loosely, which I later found out was still too tight. I throw everything in the Jeep, which isn't much as with my newly acquired Chef Coat's I no longer have much of a need for an apron. Which may not be true but Chef's don't wear aprons!
So I take off. Right around passing through what can only be described as the "Town square" of my town, that's right town. It's not a city. We have no mayor, police or fire department. Just one Ice house, a post office and the 2 diner's we have, which is a step up for all the history of this place. I'm passing the last diner on a curve, when a truck pulling a trailer comes around IN MY LANE. I hit the breaks, try to honk but my dad loves the horn so much it doesn't work for me. He likes to drive around the ranch and then come honk when he needs a beer and it's the most annoying AWOOOGA horn in the world, but it gets the Job done. With the horn failing and my intense hatred for dumbasses who should never be pulling a trailer, I flip them off. less than 5 seconds after and the adrenaline hitting me, I realize I could have just flipped off a neighbor. Fuck. I keep on with the journey and that's really what it is in a Jeep like this. There's one large hill you go up which pretty much marks the halfway point between us and the town I work in. The Jeep starts overheating around the time I reach the top. Fuck. So I gas it a little, I remember my dad telling me that the more air hitting the radiator the cooler it will become. It starts dropping, once I reach the bottom, it shoots back up, I start smelling it, but there's no steam or smoke, so I'm not entirely worried that I fucked anything up, but nevertheless pull over. I shut it off, wait about 2 minutes and try again. Still overheating. So I pull way off the road and go to call my girlfriend, Renea. Who, luckily is off of work and at her parents house for some sewing action. Guess what? No signal, the hill was cut through so the walls block you and then all the hills around that particular section block it further. So I start walking, no one's slowing down to see if I need help, which I wouldn't have taken it, but still, no one did. Finally have enough signal to call her and I do, she says she'll come get me, she's only about 5 minutes away.
I then realize I left the keys in the Jeep, so I turn around and start walking back. At one point I'm walking against traffic in the road due to a drop off to my left. 4 bikers pass me, no waves, no nothing. I get the keys and start walking back. I'm going to be late, which my boss already knows due to Jeep action, but I don't want to be THAT late. So I figure the more I walk the closer I'm there. Renea picks me up. I'm bitching about the trailer and the people who didn't do anything. Fuck people. We stop at the gas station so I can run in and get a drink for work(I refill my big cup of pepsi for 75 cents). I see all the bikers who saw me in the road, standing there drinking their red bull and shit. Older gents too. Did they ask me if I was alright? How I got here? No, they ignored me as best they could to help their guilt.
Work:
Apart from being annoyed with the start of the day work goes half-way decently. My good buddy Smokin Joe came in and I actually had a few minutes to chat with him while he ate his meat and cheese board I fixed him. After this came those tasks I've mentioned before. The weird random ones that happen every 6 months, give or take. I washed all the windows and did a few other random things of the sort. The day was steady. Slow spots, steady parts. Nothing super busy, nothing forcing me to fall behind on glassware and such, thus leaving me in the weeds. A scotts-man and his bandmates were over from the UK playing at the funhouse, which is in my town. I have no ride other than my dad. So I text him that I am shutting down the kitchen, explain the scotts-man, the bagpipes, the trumpet and all I get is "At 11st" which to me translates to "Don't really wanna go, having a great time here". I don't fault him for that, I've done shit like that from time to time.
Being a Walking John:
So I finish up, have my shift drink of beer and then decide on glass of wonderful Pinot Noir. Afterwards I decide to pull a walking John. He has no drivers license and walks or bums rides everywhere. I'm not him, but I decided to pull a walking John. My bosses brother tells me it's about a 10 minute walk. I figure "What the hell, I already walked on the side of the road waiting for a ride, why not? I might be a little sore tomorrow, but hell, Saturday's are usually mellow, with maybe a small rush for dinner." So I start walking. I get about halfway there and for some reason decide to give my dad a call. What if he got talked in to going to another bar? Or decided to come have a glass of wine with me since he knew I was off. He picks up, I tell him I'm on my way to 11st. He asks if I have a ride, I tell him nope, decided to get exercise and walk it. He tells me he went back to BEC where he works, because the air conditioners went out and his servers are going to overheat(he's an IT guy). So I was like well shit, he offered to come pick me up and I told him I could wait at blue genes(another bar, there's 9 of them in a town of maybe 1k people, but it's more like 800) He says he'll get me anyway and calls me right outside the parking lot saying I might be bored would I rather hang at blue genes. I said it didn't matter, I had already gotten a shot of maker's mark so I'd have a bit of a buzz while playing on his computers. I told him I'd have a beer or two as I spotted Lee and a few other guys that I somewhat knew. So I walk back in, get a beer, which I think annoyed the bartender who I've known for awhile cause I told him that was it, I was just having the shot. I spot Jeff and Mary, some of my dads old friends from bar tending and ask if I can sit with them, they agree and about 5 minutes later my dad walks in. So we all chat and 2 or 3 beers later decide to head home. We stop by BEC to check up on things, Dad gives me a tour as I hadn't been there in over a year. Then we head home, try to pick up the Jeep on the way seeing as it would be cooled off by now. Overheats again. We leave it.
Saturday:
I get up early to check on the Jeep with my mom. The hose from the radiator to the motor was split and torn up. We go to napa. Apparently no one really drives 4 cylinder vehicles anymore. They checked 28 stores and we would have had to drive to la grange to get it, so we have them order it and get the Jeep towed to the house. Take the truck to work, which was slow as fuck. We didn't have any customers for almost 3 hours. I get off at a decent time, it was a bit busier later so it wasn't early. I have a few drinks as it's dead again and head home. Passing the fun house I see the new huge stage is up, turn around and stop in. Invite renea for a drink. I only got to hear maybe a minute of their last song and then that was it. Me and renea had a few drinks and chatted with Bear, Mike, Ms Casey and Harla for a bit. Then they closed up and we came home.
I later found out that a bunch of people around town had shit happening to them on friday. I thought karma was kicking the shit out of me, but apparently it was just a weird ass day for everyone. I was annoyed and down about it but it's whatever, you can't do anything about it, now can you?
So I take off. Right around passing through what can only be described as the "Town square" of my town, that's right town. It's not a city. We have no mayor, police or fire department. Just one Ice house, a post office and the 2 diner's we have, which is a step up for all the history of this place. I'm passing the last diner on a curve, when a truck pulling a trailer comes around IN MY LANE. I hit the breaks, try to honk but my dad loves the horn so much it doesn't work for me. He likes to drive around the ranch and then come honk when he needs a beer and it's the most annoying AWOOOGA horn in the world, but it gets the Job done. With the horn failing and my intense hatred for dumbasses who should never be pulling a trailer, I flip them off. less than 5 seconds after and the adrenaline hitting me, I realize I could have just flipped off a neighbor. Fuck. I keep on with the journey and that's really what it is in a Jeep like this. There's one large hill you go up which pretty much marks the halfway point between us and the town I work in. The Jeep starts overheating around the time I reach the top. Fuck. So I gas it a little, I remember my dad telling me that the more air hitting the radiator the cooler it will become. It starts dropping, once I reach the bottom, it shoots back up, I start smelling it, but there's no steam or smoke, so I'm not entirely worried that I fucked anything up, but nevertheless pull over. I shut it off, wait about 2 minutes and try again. Still overheating. So I pull way off the road and go to call my girlfriend, Renea. Who, luckily is off of work and at her parents house for some sewing action. Guess what? No signal, the hill was cut through so the walls block you and then all the hills around that particular section block it further. So I start walking, no one's slowing down to see if I need help, which I wouldn't have taken it, but still, no one did. Finally have enough signal to call her and I do, she says she'll come get me, she's only about 5 minutes away.
I then realize I left the keys in the Jeep, so I turn around and start walking back. At one point I'm walking against traffic in the road due to a drop off to my left. 4 bikers pass me, no waves, no nothing. I get the keys and start walking back. I'm going to be late, which my boss already knows due to Jeep action, but I don't want to be THAT late. So I figure the more I walk the closer I'm there. Renea picks me up. I'm bitching about the trailer and the people who didn't do anything. Fuck people. We stop at the gas station so I can run in and get a drink for work(I refill my big cup of pepsi for 75 cents). I see all the bikers who saw me in the road, standing there drinking their red bull and shit. Older gents too. Did they ask me if I was alright? How I got here? No, they ignored me as best they could to help their guilt.
Work:
Apart from being annoyed with the start of the day work goes half-way decently. My good buddy Smokin Joe came in and I actually had a few minutes to chat with him while he ate his meat and cheese board I fixed him. After this came those tasks I've mentioned before. The weird random ones that happen every 6 months, give or take. I washed all the windows and did a few other random things of the sort. The day was steady. Slow spots, steady parts. Nothing super busy, nothing forcing me to fall behind on glassware and such, thus leaving me in the weeds. A scotts-man and his bandmates were over from the UK playing at the funhouse, which is in my town. I have no ride other than my dad. So I text him that I am shutting down the kitchen, explain the scotts-man, the bagpipes, the trumpet and all I get is "At 11st" which to me translates to "Don't really wanna go, having a great time here". I don't fault him for that, I've done shit like that from time to time.
Being a Walking John:
So I finish up, have my shift drink of beer and then decide on glass of wonderful Pinot Noir. Afterwards I decide to pull a walking John. He has no drivers license and walks or bums rides everywhere. I'm not him, but I decided to pull a walking John. My bosses brother tells me it's about a 10 minute walk. I figure "What the hell, I already walked on the side of the road waiting for a ride, why not? I might be a little sore tomorrow, but hell, Saturday's are usually mellow, with maybe a small rush for dinner." So I start walking. I get about halfway there and for some reason decide to give my dad a call. What if he got talked in to going to another bar? Or decided to come have a glass of wine with me since he knew I was off. He picks up, I tell him I'm on my way to 11st. He asks if I have a ride, I tell him nope, decided to get exercise and walk it. He tells me he went back to BEC where he works, because the air conditioners went out and his servers are going to overheat(he's an IT guy). So I was like well shit, he offered to come pick me up and I told him I could wait at blue genes(another bar, there's 9 of them in a town of maybe 1k people, but it's more like 800) He says he'll get me anyway and calls me right outside the parking lot saying I might be bored would I rather hang at blue genes. I said it didn't matter, I had already gotten a shot of maker's mark so I'd have a bit of a buzz while playing on his computers. I told him I'd have a beer or two as I spotted Lee and a few other guys that I somewhat knew. So I walk back in, get a beer, which I think annoyed the bartender who I've known for awhile cause I told him that was it, I was just having the shot. I spot Jeff and Mary, some of my dads old friends from bar tending and ask if I can sit with them, they agree and about 5 minutes later my dad walks in. So we all chat and 2 or 3 beers later decide to head home. We stop by BEC to check up on things, Dad gives me a tour as I hadn't been there in over a year. Then we head home, try to pick up the Jeep on the way seeing as it would be cooled off by now. Overheats again. We leave it.
Saturday:
I get up early to check on the Jeep with my mom. The hose from the radiator to the motor was split and torn up. We go to napa. Apparently no one really drives 4 cylinder vehicles anymore. They checked 28 stores and we would have had to drive to la grange to get it, so we have them order it and get the Jeep towed to the house. Take the truck to work, which was slow as fuck. We didn't have any customers for almost 3 hours. I get off at a decent time, it was a bit busier later so it wasn't early. I have a few drinks as it's dead again and head home. Passing the fun house I see the new huge stage is up, turn around and stop in. Invite renea for a drink. I only got to hear maybe a minute of their last song and then that was it. Me and renea had a few drinks and chatted with Bear, Mike, Ms Casey and Harla for a bit. Then they closed up and we came home.
I later found out that a bunch of people around town had shit happening to them on friday. I thought karma was kicking the shit out of me, but apparently it was just a weird ass day for everyone. I was annoyed and down about it but it's whatever, you can't do anything about it, now can you?
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
A walk in my gnar boots
The boots:
I ounce read a quote from Steve Choi, an interviewer mentioned that he notices most of the band plays on stage barefoot, asking what that was about and if he regularly does the same(even though he saw him with shoes that day). Steve responds by saying how Matt, Joe and Gak generally do, it was part of the beach life of growing up in cali, they walked around barefoot almost everywhere, so they in turn developed gnar boots(Callouses on their souls, I would imagine[pun mildly intended]).
Days off, the days that go by:
I wake up around noon or later; which is what I normally do when going to work, but I do infact have the option to sleep in. I check up on the internet, I've lost most touch with the world I grew up in, the world I love. In truth all my friends(on the net) have grown up, much as myself, or I've lost touch with them as often happens in real life and happens much easier online, which is happening to me aswell. There really just isn't time or reason for us to sit and lurk or talk on the internet anymore. Some are in college, some have Jobs, some are in between jobs and have found a social life outside of the crystal filled screens. I can't say the same hasn't happened for me without the whole college/real social life. My social life outside of this screen basically consists of chilling with patrons at my bar after I get off work or going to other bars after work. With the exception of sporadic Sundays at the wonderful Ms. Becky B's house, where we do shots and get shitfaced and she lets me and renea crash so we don't have to worry. Becky thinks I'm a hilarious drunk which is a plus. I also sometime go to Smokin' Joe's to discuss the inner working's of his online music horde that I am managing to a decent extent. Apart from that it's exactly the same as before I had a job, only with less internet, more cooking and struggling to want to play games but being vastly bored with them(which has changed some since getting a PS3).
But this is all beside the original point, so I will carry on.
If I'm lucky enough to have something quick to cook for breakfast at 2pm(GH time), I do. Which usually only consists of 2 boxes of mac and cheese with Amy's spicy chili added. Otherwise it's leftovers. Sometimes we make egg and potato breakfast tacos though. Then we watch GH, sometimes Ellen. After we usually play some games(as of recent) or we watch who wants to be a millionaire and then jeopardy and start cooking around 6 or 7(for dinner). I recently read a book, "Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential" that not only helped me love my Job more but helped me realize that cooking is awesome and helps me relax and de-stress, even if my dish is highly stressful. Which depending on how many beers I've had since prepping, Jen will cook/help cook if I fall in the weeds and get behind or just change my mind and decide I don't want to cook I just want to spice everything and such. Which isn't exactly true, I've been doing that more on stuff she can't cook, so she learns. Like stir-fry. But never the less, it's a good save for me either way. That book taught me some of the joy of cooking and especially trying new things you've never ever done before. if it sucks? its cat food. Fix it next time. Even if you can't stand what you cooked, taste it enough to find out the problem, don't ever give up. Over done, too salty, too bland, under cooked, anything, taste and fix it. Unless it's raw meat, fish or chicken and it's undercooked. That'll kill you.
I'll used this as a shining example.
Sunday:
Sunday, I had my sister change my team for the fantasy nascar team(I know you just laughed at me). I was too tired from being up late saturday. I get up, for the first sunday in awhile I don't have anything I need to do. Don't need to go to Renea's Parents house, Don't need to go shopping, don't want to go shopping, don't need to meet up with anyone, or anything. Only downside is that the race was postponed untill monday due to rain.
I lounge around, hitting up the internet a bit here and there, talking shit to people our chat channel, played some games, whatever I felt like. We ate and then I started up a radio show. My bud Andrey, who hosts the radio stream for me to broadcast from(still not sure about my cap limit, supposedly I have none, but I won't be responsible for throttling and Andrey doesn't upload/download much) was already planning to go to a friends house. I stupidly started using Wednesday as the radio show day. I say stupid because I work thursday. Bad time to host a show that you always get drunk on. Plus Renea works the next day and my music keeps her up. It was monday for awhile. I flop between sunday/monday now, but nothing's slated. Some Sundays's I'm already too in to chill mode to drink alot and DJ/sing songs if requested(or not and I think they all need to hear me). I had some vodka on hand and stuck to the beer and shots. I never really felt buzzed but I was drunk enough to sing Against Me! to this 14 year old kid I recently met who is in a band and didn't believe I could sing. After awhile I had Jen drunk too and actually started DJing and talkinging(though I passed out while DJing, but that is beside the point).
Monday:
I woke up early to my mom calling me about having to go in to see my grandmother and help her clean as she has been sick for over a week. We were to watch my little sisters, but I commented that we were going that way also, so she said she'd take the kids and we could take Renea's car. I told her we'd watch them it was fine. She refused, so I woke up my sister and told her to go watch them. My mom took them anyways. I fell back asleep and woke up about 20 minutes later to Renea's cell ringing. We said fuck it and went back to sleep. Just as we were falling it rang again. This happened 4 times. It was her mom, excited about a sewing machine find at a thrift store(that wound up not working, but it was only $10). So I wind up getting up around 10, which is early. Renea said she was craving over easy eggs. So I cooked them up. I then started on my refried beans cause I wanted quesodilla's for breakfast. Renea goes to work on purses and I wind up watching TV mindlessly untill around 1:30 when Jen wakes up. Start cooking them and watch GH. We play Bioshock2 most of the day and I played with Pachuca most of the day on my breaks, it was warm enough for her to go in the water. Afterwards we had another "Unhealthy Monday" Which we barely ever do. But this time it was home made Jalapeno Poppers, Jen's epic salad and fish n chips.
These are good days off. These are my perfect days. Cooking, drinking and games. That's me.
I ounce read a quote from Steve Choi, an interviewer mentioned that he notices most of the band plays on stage barefoot, asking what that was about and if he regularly does the same(even though he saw him with shoes that day). Steve responds by saying how Matt, Joe and Gak generally do, it was part of the beach life of growing up in cali, they walked around barefoot almost everywhere, so they in turn developed gnar boots(Callouses on their souls, I would imagine[pun mildly intended]).
Days off, the days that go by:
I wake up around noon or later; which is what I normally do when going to work, but I do infact have the option to sleep in. I check up on the internet, I've lost most touch with the world I grew up in, the world I love. In truth all my friends(on the net) have grown up, much as myself, or I've lost touch with them as often happens in real life and happens much easier online, which is happening to me aswell. There really just isn't time or reason for us to sit and lurk or talk on the internet anymore. Some are in college, some have Jobs, some are in between jobs and have found a social life outside of the crystal filled screens. I can't say the same hasn't happened for me without the whole college/real social life. My social life outside of this screen basically consists of chilling with patrons at my bar after I get off work or going to other bars after work. With the exception of sporadic Sundays at the wonderful Ms. Becky B's house, where we do shots and get shitfaced and she lets me and renea crash so we don't have to worry. Becky thinks I'm a hilarious drunk which is a plus. I also sometime go to Smokin' Joe's to discuss the inner working's of his online music horde that I am managing to a decent extent. Apart from that it's exactly the same as before I had a job, only with less internet, more cooking and struggling to want to play games but being vastly bored with them(which has changed some since getting a PS3).
But this is all beside the original point, so I will carry on.
If I'm lucky enough to have something quick to cook for breakfast at 2pm(GH time), I do. Which usually only consists of 2 boxes of mac and cheese with Amy's spicy chili added. Otherwise it's leftovers. Sometimes we make egg and potato breakfast tacos though. Then we watch GH, sometimes Ellen. After we usually play some games(as of recent) or we watch who wants to be a millionaire and then jeopardy and start cooking around 6 or 7(for dinner). I recently read a book, "Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential" that not only helped me love my Job more but helped me realize that cooking is awesome and helps me relax and de-stress, even if my dish is highly stressful. Which depending on how many beers I've had since prepping, Jen will cook/help cook if I fall in the weeds and get behind or just change my mind and decide I don't want to cook I just want to spice everything and such. Which isn't exactly true, I've been doing that more on stuff she can't cook, so she learns. Like stir-fry. But never the less, it's a good save for me either way. That book taught me some of the joy of cooking and especially trying new things you've never ever done before. if it sucks? its cat food. Fix it next time. Even if you can't stand what you cooked, taste it enough to find out the problem, don't ever give up. Over done, too salty, too bland, under cooked, anything, taste and fix it. Unless it's raw meat, fish or chicken and it's undercooked. That'll kill you.
I'll used this as a shining example.
Sunday:
Sunday, I had my sister change my team for the fantasy nascar team(I know you just laughed at me). I was too tired from being up late saturday. I get up, for the first sunday in awhile I don't have anything I need to do. Don't need to go to Renea's Parents house, Don't need to go shopping, don't want to go shopping, don't need to meet up with anyone, or anything. Only downside is that the race was postponed untill monday due to rain.
I lounge around, hitting up the internet a bit here and there, talking shit to people our chat channel, played some games, whatever I felt like. We ate and then I started up a radio show. My bud Andrey, who hosts the radio stream for me to broadcast from(still not sure about my cap limit, supposedly I have none, but I won't be responsible for throttling and Andrey doesn't upload/download much) was already planning to go to a friends house. I stupidly started using Wednesday as the radio show day. I say stupid because I work thursday. Bad time to host a show that you always get drunk on. Plus Renea works the next day and my music keeps her up. It was monday for awhile. I flop between sunday/monday now, but nothing's slated. Some Sundays's I'm already too in to chill mode to drink alot and DJ/sing songs if requested(or not and I think they all need to hear me). I had some vodka on hand and stuck to the beer and shots. I never really felt buzzed but I was drunk enough to sing Against Me! to this 14 year old kid I recently met who is in a band and didn't believe I could sing. After awhile I had Jen drunk too and actually started DJing and talkinging(though I passed out while DJing, but that is beside the point).
Monday:
I woke up early to my mom calling me about having to go in to see my grandmother and help her clean as she has been sick for over a week. We were to watch my little sisters, but I commented that we were going that way also, so she said she'd take the kids and we could take Renea's car. I told her we'd watch them it was fine. She refused, so I woke up my sister and told her to go watch them. My mom took them anyways. I fell back asleep and woke up about 20 minutes later to Renea's cell ringing. We said fuck it and went back to sleep. Just as we were falling it rang again. This happened 4 times. It was her mom, excited about a sewing machine find at a thrift store(that wound up not working, but it was only $10). So I wind up getting up around 10, which is early. Renea said she was craving over easy eggs. So I cooked them up. I then started on my refried beans cause I wanted quesodilla's for breakfast. Renea goes to work on purses and I wind up watching TV mindlessly untill around 1:30 when Jen wakes up. Start cooking them and watch GH. We play Bioshock2 most of the day and I played with Pachuca most of the day on my breaks, it was warm enough for her to go in the water. Afterwards we had another "Unhealthy Monday" Which we barely ever do. But this time it was home made Jalapeno Poppers, Jen's epic salad and fish n chips.
These are good days off. These are my perfect days. Cooking, drinking and games. That's me.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Shoesies part 2: Electric boogaloo
Change of pace:
Slow days save my life. They can be annoying, but, for the most part I enjoy them as much as working my ass off. Last weekend was a perfect example. Saturday I came in to work, Thursday and Friday were pretty busy, fell in the weeds once on both nights. So I assumed saturday would be pretty mellow. I come in, start with sweeping as I do on Friday/Saturday, then took out some ciabatta as we only had 2 or 3 panini's left from friday night. Damn near everything is MTO on saturday, which can be a pain in the ass but is also a bit refreshing. Making everything to order is a slight change up and only really hurts if we get busy. It started off slow, infact it reminded me of last fall/winter, we changed our hours to open at 2pm on saturday, I usually had a good 2 to 3 hours before even making one order, or very few and far between. Ken and Kirsten came in, we had Kelly(medina group) actually sitting at the bar for a change as her group was all out of town. I chatted with her a little bit which was nice, I've never really talked to her. It was pretty dead, so all the regulars who I enjoy talking to I actually was able to. It did pick up later on but that was alright. My girlfriends brother Tim even came in for a bit. Only thing that sucked about it picking up was that we were supposed to go chill with Tim and Miriam. But that's only this particular day, I don't mind small rushes that pass the time.
Routine:
There's not as much to say and not as much prep work on the off days so it generally goes something like this.
Show up, Sweep, Cut and weigh cheese, replace all the candles in the candle holders, there's between 20 and 35, I haven't counted in awhile and we have some more. Then I either take a smoke break or do some random task my boss presents me with which can be anything from pricing new wines, repricing all the wines, stocking wine, cleaning something or everything which can include ceiling fans, fridge, thorough sweeping of my workspace. I generally fold out almost linen napkins also, around 25 to 50 of them.
Saturdays can be anywhere from completely dead and I get off work around 8, 8:30(which only gives me a 4-4.5 workday). They've also been known to be completely different, we've had saturdays as busy as a thursday or friday. Birthday parties, scheduled or not. Random groups of tourists or even random groups of locals. I can be busy in the kitchen all night and not get out till 10-10:30. We also usually have oktoberfest on saturdays which I have literally worked a 10 to 12 hour day. We are also doing a mayfest(Maifest) this year aswell, which is also a german thing. I believe it's to welcome spring.
Another good thing I enjoy about Friday is that I get to leave at 3:30, which means I get to watch General Hospital and usually catch the first half of the Ellen show. Mindless stupid TV, but I've been hooked and watching GH since I was born, my earliest memories of it are when I was 6 or 7 and I generally remember the history of the show and all the crazy soap shit that happens better than anyone. Ellen is just hilarious most times.
Slow days, while annoying, save lives.
Slow days save my life. They can be annoying, but, for the most part I enjoy them as much as working my ass off. Last weekend was a perfect example. Saturday I came in to work, Thursday and Friday were pretty busy, fell in the weeds once on both nights. So I assumed saturday would be pretty mellow. I come in, start with sweeping as I do on Friday/Saturday, then took out some ciabatta as we only had 2 or 3 panini's left from friday night. Damn near everything is MTO on saturday, which can be a pain in the ass but is also a bit refreshing. Making everything to order is a slight change up and only really hurts if we get busy. It started off slow, infact it reminded me of last fall/winter, we changed our hours to open at 2pm on saturday, I usually had a good 2 to 3 hours before even making one order, or very few and far between. Ken and Kirsten came in, we had Kelly(medina group) actually sitting at the bar for a change as her group was all out of town. I chatted with her a little bit which was nice, I've never really talked to her. It was pretty dead, so all the regulars who I enjoy talking to I actually was able to. It did pick up later on but that was alright. My girlfriends brother Tim even came in for a bit. Only thing that sucked about it picking up was that we were supposed to go chill with Tim and Miriam. But that's only this particular day, I don't mind small rushes that pass the time.
Routine:
There's not as much to say and not as much prep work on the off days so it generally goes something like this.
Show up, Sweep, Cut and weigh cheese, replace all the candles in the candle holders, there's between 20 and 35, I haven't counted in awhile and we have some more. Then I either take a smoke break or do some random task my boss presents me with which can be anything from pricing new wines, repricing all the wines, stocking wine, cleaning something or everything which can include ceiling fans, fridge, thorough sweeping of my workspace. I generally fold out almost linen napkins also, around 25 to 50 of them.
Saturdays can be anywhere from completely dead and I get off work around 8, 8:30(which only gives me a 4-4.5 workday). They've also been known to be completely different, we've had saturdays as busy as a thursday or friday. Birthday parties, scheduled or not. Random groups of tourists or even random groups of locals. I can be busy in the kitchen all night and not get out till 10-10:30. We also usually have oktoberfest on saturdays which I have literally worked a 10 to 12 hour day. We are also doing a mayfest(Maifest) this year aswell, which is also a german thing. I believe it's to welcome spring.
Another good thing I enjoy about Friday is that I get to leave at 3:30, which means I get to watch General Hospital and usually catch the first half of the Ellen show. Mindless stupid TV, but I've been hooked and watching GH since I was born, my earliest memories of it are when I was 6 or 7 and I generally remember the history of the show and all the crazy soap shit that happens better than anyone. Ellen is just hilarious most times.
Slow days, while annoying, save lives.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
A walk in my (work) shoes(part1)
~The Busy days~
I started working at the bar in July of 08. It was mildly slow for the first few months before it took WAY off.
Prelude:
Back when we were booming(food-wise, we still get busy but not in food, not like we were), I was pre-making 20 to 30 panini's a day. We had 4 on menu and generally made 5 of each, more of the popular ones and usually only had 2 to 3 at the end of the week. I would weigh out enough cheese for 12 to 15 boards with extra asiago and manchego weighed out for the asiago board and the meat & cheese boards. It was busy, it was crazy. I left every day feeling all the weight of my body on my tired sore feet and my hands almost completely numb from cutting and preparing and grilling and all that. It's me, one chef. I have a waitress(now, but not for long as she is moving soon and we won't be replacing her untill summer, IF it gets busy) and that's it. Before then it was my boss and her on again off again boyfriend who ran it, John played mostly bartender(sorta baddly) and Sandra played floor(Pun intended? Not really but it came out that way so feel free to laugh). It was hectic at times. We have a table outside the kitchen which holds our espresso machine and plates for the floor and various other things that would be completely covered in dishes, silverware and glassware, not to mention the boards themselves. At times it will stack up on to the bar over by the register.
A typical busy day:
Thursday, which is generally our busiest day goes like this: I wake up around noon, 1pm if I care to sleep in but then I am rushed. I eat, do whatever and then at 1pm I start getting ready, you wouldn't think it would take a half hour for me to get ready, with the dreads and all. But by the time you shit, shower and shave, then eat and start getting dressed and your things together such as tobacco, rolling one for the road, CDs, putting on deodorant, as I forget sometimes. and then get the rest together, apron notepad for front pocket, pin, phone, wallet, book if it's slow(which I only recently started to do as I never read untill red rocks) you can see how it could take 20-30 minutes. I leave at 1:30. I have to be there by 2 in order to make all the sandwiches and cut the cheese and such. I pray I don't fall behind the low life drivers that do 50 to 60 in a 70mph zone and then keep doing the 50 to 60 through a 50, 45 and only during the 35mph zone do they slow to maybe 40(Where the fuck are the cops when you want them to be around?), or god help me I get stuck behind a early drinker or trailer puller, the trailer pullers are as scary as the early drunks! the trailer goes everywhere and I usually cant even pass, but atleast they do the speed limit, even if they shouldn't. I stop at the gas station to refill my 40oz cup with pepsi cola(they don't have coke and I'm not big on mountain dew), or if I'm out of tobacco I stop at the grocery store and get a 20oz Dr. Pepper and some tobacco, sometimes I can catch my girl there, but after this asshole of a manager realized we were dating, won't let me check out with her. Fuck you paul.
I get to work generally at two, rarely before then but it has happened. Most times, which I am not proud of one of the things listed above happens and I arrive a few minutes late, max 10 minutes. Luckily as of the last year my boss gave me keys and knows I know how to set up the bar on my end and she never notices. I write that I show up at 2pm so it doesn't look bad, but at the same time if I work till 9:15 and most times even 9:20(If I know I showed up late) I write down that I clocked out at 9:00 to even things out. I love my boss and for the most part my Job, I don't want to fuck her over but I don't want to look bad either. I make the panini's and after learning them, changing them all horribly(boss, not me) and then changing them back plus the ones that did well from the 6 month period they sucked, I have learned how to make them without looking at our menu. I could probably do it in my sleep and I know damn well which cheese to weigh at 1oz and which at 1.5oz. I usually finish about 10 minutes before opening, when my boss arrives at 3 to 3:30 its the generally greeting and how was your week followed up by the shit that happened when I left the last saturday and any town gossip I missed out on during the week. I was never one for gossip untill I worked here. I've grown to love it because for one it's hilarious and secondly it helps us judge what kind of crowd we will have.
When I finish up, be it before or after opening I run to Super S, a shitty grocery store, the one my girlfriend has been enslaved to work for because of the economy and amount of business vs people, there isn't much. I run over there for Ice, usually 20lb bags to ice down our heffeweizen, hard cider and champagne, the occasional bottle of wine that we are in high demand of that day also. Sometimes I get water to serve people as the tap tastes like asstastic river water(I've drank it, its not fun or good for you in any way). On friday or saturday if we were busy enough I might buy grapes, white bread for nutella panini's or milk for our espresso. Occasionally a red onion for our silver spur sandwich and very very rarely turkey meat for the same sandwich.
The start:
Thursday's always start like this unless we have straggler tourists. They start off with our medina group which consists of, Dick and grace, bobby, cat, mikey, the other I still do not know the names of, the aforementioned are the only ones to recognize and talk to me at times. At first it was just our first high top that looks out on to the street, but now it has grown in to both high tops, which leaves our three tables, most sit 6 people and then the bar which sits 10 or 12. Generally it is just them untill 5 or 6 o' clock. Then we get the other regulars, Ken and Kirsten, Finn, Santa dan(at times) and the general crowed that I don't know whom are still mild very mild regulars. Again, these are the people I know who I talk to and very rarely go out with for drinks after I get off of work. Then it get's busy. I get stuck in the kitchen for hours at a time. I have been tasked with cooking up to 4 sandwiches on the grill when it can only hold 5 max, making 2 to 3 and sometimes 4 cheese, meat or combo boards at once, not to mention the custom build your own orders. I do not have a ticket rack, but we tape my tix to a shelf that holds the stereo that plays the XM music everyone enjoys. That's when dishes and such get stacked, I have literally had to have my boss/bartender wash, dry and put away glassware, my waitress/floor girl do silverware and dishes and the like all because I am sooooo backed up. A wise man(anthony bourdain) taught me, through his book to cherish these moments. I loathed them back in the day when we started. COMPLETELY HATED THEM. But! That was because in 08 every night was pretty much like that and it is very taxing. If you've never worked a cook line or participated in a line cook job at all, don't you tell me to suck it up cause I only work 3 days a week, I realize there are more that do alot more and do it 6 days a week. I am astounded that they can do it. I have recently found happiness in going home worked to death, barely walking, one shoulder cocked up almost above my head because of my bad back. I love it these days. Could I take all 3 days doing this? Yes. Do I want to? Fuck no, I want 2 solid days of good work with a slow BUT STEADY saturday. Meaning I want to be busy but not swamped, not slammed. I don't want to get stuck in the weeds and have to single handily pull myself out just to fall back again like the previous days. I do quite enjoy the uber slow days when I can sit out and talk with the regulars and make jokes and gossip, even if I don't do it much due to shyness. But I don't want every week like that. I say this because I work the cook Job every day we are open and yes I get a free drink after work and sometimes I have more and get to talk to people(believe me I actually talk after a day like that and have a beer in me) but it's not the same as just chillin with everyone, the regulars that come in early and leave late. I don't like our night crowd much at all. I also HATE it when my dad is out there with friends or my girl and my sis are out there with friends and I can hear them laughing, having a ball, when I'm desperately trying to play catch up just so I can have a smoke with them on a break on the other side of the bar. I don't mind other people having a blast, but when you know you could be in on it, laughing away having a good old time, it grates on you.
Closing:
I don't mean to bash my boss but this is what closing can be like for me. As of late everything drops off around 9, 9:30. Back in 08 it was 10, 10:30 and most likely 11pm. Back in 08 we didn't have Shelley, our beloved waitress. So it was just John and Sandra(barback and floor, but largely it was sandra playing both as John would get caught up in conversation). So I think they were afraid to let me go any earlier because they didn't want to get caught in the weeds. That or they knew I needed the hours as my dad was between jobs at the time and I was helping to support us while he was searching. But anyway, the thing that gets on my nerves the most about closing is this. "Hey Jonathon I think you can close the kitchen down, we probably won't get anymore food orders" All the dishes come in, I start washing and wiping down my ENTIRE work area. It is a small kitchen but I make everything mighty shiny at the end. So I wash everything, scrub down the grill, wash the bottom tray of the oven we cook our baguettes in and wipe down everything, sweep up the kitchen and get everything situated in my mise-en-place and it's happened so many times. I could be writing down my hours to clock out, I could be wiping everything down, I could be making sure the capponatta didn't get left out, or already been served my free beer, when someone walks in and orders. I have to open the kitchen back up. Even if I've clocked off. If it is Jim and melissa, Jim and Judy or Don and Debbie it's no small task. It's a Cheese board, a meat board and a panini or two or three. I am mildly bitching at this point. It's not their fault, Sandra or Shelley could do it but they usually go talk with them and chat them up. To my defense of sorts also, there are times when I feel bad, because I am off and drinking but they cook and everything. because I am off. But, if I didn't stay for a drink they'd do it anyway is what I tell myself. Either way it's what has to be done and I do it. I shouldn't bitch, more tips, more hours, more money. But more times than not it's at the end of a slaughtering shift and the last thing I want is to open up the kitchen again for this. Also I must admit there have been times that I have closed the kitchen down 3 times in a row. back to fucking back. To me? The kitchen is fucking closed, deal with it. But I understand that it's like "Oh is the kitchen still open we are so hungry and all we want is some cheese with our whine", shit like that. But still, its grating on me. again, shit happens I deal with it, we deal with it. There've been times when I'm on my way out after 3 or 4 beers at the wine bar with my dad on my off hours and everything's ready for the next day when in walks someone good for 2+ glasses and sandra has to stay while I leave, I get it, I do. This is just my rant on how I hate the bar business sometimes. Again I've been to other bars late and it's like "Just one drink, please, I don't want to go to any of the other honky tonks I just want to sit here with you guys"
So this is basically what my busy days are like.
I started working at the bar in July of 08. It was mildly slow for the first few months before it took WAY off.
Prelude:
Back when we were booming(food-wise, we still get busy but not in food, not like we were), I was pre-making 20 to 30 panini's a day. We had 4 on menu and generally made 5 of each, more of the popular ones and usually only had 2 to 3 at the end of the week. I would weigh out enough cheese for 12 to 15 boards with extra asiago and manchego weighed out for the asiago board and the meat & cheese boards. It was busy, it was crazy. I left every day feeling all the weight of my body on my tired sore feet and my hands almost completely numb from cutting and preparing and grilling and all that. It's me, one chef. I have a waitress(now, but not for long as she is moving soon and we won't be replacing her untill summer, IF it gets busy) and that's it. Before then it was my boss and her on again off again boyfriend who ran it, John played mostly bartender(sorta baddly) and Sandra played floor(Pun intended? Not really but it came out that way so feel free to laugh). It was hectic at times. We have a table outside the kitchen which holds our espresso machine and plates for the floor and various other things that would be completely covered in dishes, silverware and glassware, not to mention the boards themselves. At times it will stack up on to the bar over by the register.
A typical busy day:
Thursday, which is generally our busiest day goes like this: I wake up around noon, 1pm if I care to sleep in but then I am rushed. I eat, do whatever and then at 1pm I start getting ready, you wouldn't think it would take a half hour for me to get ready, with the dreads and all. But by the time you shit, shower and shave, then eat and start getting dressed and your things together such as tobacco, rolling one for the road, CDs, putting on deodorant, as I forget sometimes. and then get the rest together, apron notepad for front pocket, pin, phone, wallet, book if it's slow(which I only recently started to do as I never read untill red rocks) you can see how it could take 20-30 minutes. I leave at 1:30. I have to be there by 2 in order to make all the sandwiches and cut the cheese and such. I pray I don't fall behind the low life drivers that do 50 to 60 in a 70mph zone and then keep doing the 50 to 60 through a 50, 45 and only during the 35mph zone do they slow to maybe 40(Where the fuck are the cops when you want them to be around?), or god help me I get stuck behind a early drinker or trailer puller, the trailer pullers are as scary as the early drunks! the trailer goes everywhere and I usually cant even pass, but atleast they do the speed limit, even if they shouldn't. I stop at the gas station to refill my 40oz cup with pepsi cola(they don't have coke and I'm not big on mountain dew), or if I'm out of tobacco I stop at the grocery store and get a 20oz Dr. Pepper and some tobacco, sometimes I can catch my girl there, but after this asshole of a manager realized we were dating, won't let me check out with her. Fuck you paul.
I get to work generally at two, rarely before then but it has happened. Most times, which I am not proud of one of the things listed above happens and I arrive a few minutes late, max 10 minutes. Luckily as of the last year my boss gave me keys and knows I know how to set up the bar on my end and she never notices. I write that I show up at 2pm so it doesn't look bad, but at the same time if I work till 9:15 and most times even 9:20(If I know I showed up late) I write down that I clocked out at 9:00 to even things out. I love my boss and for the most part my Job, I don't want to fuck her over but I don't want to look bad either. I make the panini's and after learning them, changing them all horribly(boss, not me) and then changing them back plus the ones that did well from the 6 month period they sucked, I have learned how to make them without looking at our menu. I could probably do it in my sleep and I know damn well which cheese to weigh at 1oz and which at 1.5oz. I usually finish about 10 minutes before opening, when my boss arrives at 3 to 3:30 its the generally greeting and how was your week followed up by the shit that happened when I left the last saturday and any town gossip I missed out on during the week. I was never one for gossip untill I worked here. I've grown to love it because for one it's hilarious and secondly it helps us judge what kind of crowd we will have.
When I finish up, be it before or after opening I run to Super S, a shitty grocery store, the one my girlfriend has been enslaved to work for because of the economy and amount of business vs people, there isn't much. I run over there for Ice, usually 20lb bags to ice down our heffeweizen, hard cider and champagne, the occasional bottle of wine that we are in high demand of that day also. Sometimes I get water to serve people as the tap tastes like asstastic river water(I've drank it, its not fun or good for you in any way). On friday or saturday if we were busy enough I might buy grapes, white bread for nutella panini's or milk for our espresso. Occasionally a red onion for our silver spur sandwich and very very rarely turkey meat for the same sandwich.
The start:
Thursday's always start like this unless we have straggler tourists. They start off with our medina group which consists of, Dick and grace, bobby, cat, mikey, the other I still do not know the names of, the aforementioned are the only ones to recognize and talk to me at times. At first it was just our first high top that looks out on to the street, but now it has grown in to both high tops, which leaves our three tables, most sit 6 people and then the bar which sits 10 or 12. Generally it is just them untill 5 or 6 o' clock. Then we get the other regulars, Ken and Kirsten, Finn, Santa dan(at times) and the general crowed that I don't know whom are still mild very mild regulars. Again, these are the people I know who I talk to and very rarely go out with for drinks after I get off of work. Then it get's busy. I get stuck in the kitchen for hours at a time. I have been tasked with cooking up to 4 sandwiches on the grill when it can only hold 5 max, making 2 to 3 and sometimes 4 cheese, meat or combo boards at once, not to mention the custom build your own orders. I do not have a ticket rack, but we tape my tix to a shelf that holds the stereo that plays the XM music everyone enjoys. That's when dishes and such get stacked, I have literally had to have my boss/bartender wash, dry and put away glassware, my waitress/floor girl do silverware and dishes and the like all because I am sooooo backed up. A wise man(anthony bourdain) taught me, through his book to cherish these moments. I loathed them back in the day when we started. COMPLETELY HATED THEM. But! That was because in 08 every night was pretty much like that and it is very taxing. If you've never worked a cook line or participated in a line cook job at all, don't you tell me to suck it up cause I only work 3 days a week, I realize there are more that do alot more and do it 6 days a week. I am astounded that they can do it. I have recently found happiness in going home worked to death, barely walking, one shoulder cocked up almost above my head because of my bad back. I love it these days. Could I take all 3 days doing this? Yes. Do I want to? Fuck no, I want 2 solid days of good work with a slow BUT STEADY saturday. Meaning I want to be busy but not swamped, not slammed. I don't want to get stuck in the weeds and have to single handily pull myself out just to fall back again like the previous days. I do quite enjoy the uber slow days when I can sit out and talk with the regulars and make jokes and gossip, even if I don't do it much due to shyness. But I don't want every week like that. I say this because I work the cook Job every day we are open and yes I get a free drink after work and sometimes I have more and get to talk to people(believe me I actually talk after a day like that and have a beer in me) but it's not the same as just chillin with everyone, the regulars that come in early and leave late. I don't like our night crowd much at all. I also HATE it when my dad is out there with friends or my girl and my sis are out there with friends and I can hear them laughing, having a ball, when I'm desperately trying to play catch up just so I can have a smoke with them on a break on the other side of the bar. I don't mind other people having a blast, but when you know you could be in on it, laughing away having a good old time, it grates on you.
Closing:
I don't mean to bash my boss but this is what closing can be like for me. As of late everything drops off around 9, 9:30. Back in 08 it was 10, 10:30 and most likely 11pm. Back in 08 we didn't have Shelley, our beloved waitress. So it was just John and Sandra(barback and floor, but largely it was sandra playing both as John would get caught up in conversation). So I think they were afraid to let me go any earlier because they didn't want to get caught in the weeds. That or they knew I needed the hours as my dad was between jobs at the time and I was helping to support us while he was searching. But anyway, the thing that gets on my nerves the most about closing is this. "Hey Jonathon I think you can close the kitchen down, we probably won't get anymore food orders" All the dishes come in, I start washing and wiping down my ENTIRE work area. It is a small kitchen but I make everything mighty shiny at the end. So I wash everything, scrub down the grill, wash the bottom tray of the oven we cook our baguettes in and wipe down everything, sweep up the kitchen and get everything situated in my mise-en-place and it's happened so many times. I could be writing down my hours to clock out, I could be wiping everything down, I could be making sure the capponatta didn't get left out, or already been served my free beer, when someone walks in and orders. I have to open the kitchen back up. Even if I've clocked off. If it is Jim and melissa, Jim and Judy or Don and Debbie it's no small task. It's a Cheese board, a meat board and a panini or two or three. I am mildly bitching at this point. It's not their fault, Sandra or Shelley could do it but they usually go talk with them and chat them up. To my defense of sorts also, there are times when I feel bad, because I am off and drinking but they cook and everything. because I am off. But, if I didn't stay for a drink they'd do it anyway is what I tell myself. Either way it's what has to be done and I do it. I shouldn't bitch, more tips, more hours, more money. But more times than not it's at the end of a slaughtering shift and the last thing I want is to open up the kitchen again for this. Also I must admit there have been times that I have closed the kitchen down 3 times in a row. back to fucking back. To me? The kitchen is fucking closed, deal with it. But I understand that it's like "Oh is the kitchen still open we are so hungry and all we want is some cheese with our whine", shit like that. But still, its grating on me. again, shit happens I deal with it, we deal with it. There've been times when I'm on my way out after 3 or 4 beers at the wine bar with my dad on my off hours and everything's ready for the next day when in walks someone good for 2+ glasses and sandra has to stay while I leave, I get it, I do. This is just my rant on how I hate the bar business sometimes. Again I've been to other bars late and it's like "Just one drink, please, I don't want to go to any of the other honky tonks I just want to sit here with you guys"
So this is basically what my busy days are like.
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