The Longhorn.

So, about two weeks ago I shaved my face again. For the last 2 years, I've had a mustache; I also have some hair on my chin, kind of like a goatee, but it doesn't connect. I've recently been shaving my chin every few months trying to thicken it up, but left the 'stache. I was rocking Portugal. The Man style, heh. I know that when I shave I look 13 again. I have a "pretty face" as people have told me and while it's not very feminine it is rather slender and childlike, I guess you could say.

So the day after I shave I have to work. Apart from my boss saying "Well don't you look all clean shaving and such" and my co-worker eyeing me confused-like because she can't tell I've shaved(she later did and flipped, telling me how her dad would shave and when she noticed and said something he'd laugh and say he did it last week). No one noticed, or atleast didn't say anything. I go fairly unnoticed at work, which is probably wrong people just don't want to bug the chef while he's putting away glasswares -- or they are intemidated because of my dreads.

So thursday my first day of work for the week, I usually go to a bar afterwards with my dad, we like the salloon. It's one of those bars where generally only the people you want to talk to come and talk to you and you're pretty much left alone. Not quiet by far but quiet enough. So this thursday I didn't see my dad, he didn't come in. So around 8:00 I ask my mom where he's at and he's at another bar, a somewhat rowdy bar from what I hear, I was only in it once when I was a young kid and don't remember it much. He was there for about 4 or 5 hours. So as I'm cleaning up the kitchen so I can leave I go to call my dad, when he's already calling me. He said some guys from work want him to go to the longhorn and that I can come by after work. So I leave and proceed to go fill up some water jugs so we have water for a few days and I get a call from my dad that goes something like this:

"Hey son, they want a $5 cover charge and they have a problem with credit cards so I can't run a tab. Fuck this place let's go to the salloon!"

I agree, as I wasn't really looking forward to going to the longhorn. You see the longhorn is one of those rowdy texan bars. The ones where you stand around and you don't wonder IF there will be a fight tonight, but WHEN.

So I call him and tell him I'm done and ask him if he's still there or if he went to the longhorn. "SOMEHOW I got in man, so come on down and I'll get you in."

So I drive down there, it's actually on my way home which isn't too bad, other than the cops know about it and like to camp to catch the shitfaces. I get there, let him know, spot him at the door and walk up, he drags me inside and the madness starts. For one the only bars I've ever been that were this packed weren't bars at all, but venues for shows I was going to see that had a bar in it. This place was PACKED. Not only that but I'm in my work attire which goes something like this; Nice jeans or dickies work pants, a nice shirt that's usually button up and probably a dickies plaid shirt. I look kind of like a geek because I keep a notepad and pin in my shirt pocket, which believe me, is always needed at work. I also have dreads. So I walk in to a bar full of rowdy cowboys eyeing me, I have all that on and my dreads are down, I admit I probably look pretty rediculous. Especially on the nights I go skating after work with my friend James(imagine this, a dready kid dressed like a computer programmer or something, on a board with dreads flailing around). Already uneasy not just because I'm not big on crowds but I have all those damn cowboys -- and worse people who pretend they're cowboys when they're in town on summer vacation. Mexicans, whites, rednecks, they're there in their cowboy gear and they are looking for a rowdy good time.

So we find my dads friend, I don't catch his name cause the music is way too loud, but we meet. about 45 seconds dad realizes I don't have a beer. Quick little backstory here, There was this bar right down the street from my bar that got popped for selling to minors, so they didn't even want me in there with my dad(which is legal here). So I'm a tad worried this will be the case here and we could even get thrown out. But I swallow that thought and follow dad. There's about a 15 person line, not even a line really a group of people pushed up against the bar desperately trying to get their 8 or 9th beer, because 6 or 7 truly is not enough. I say this and I sound a little discontent with the notion, but let me tell you I do the same thing, only not quite so desperately, I have a pretty feel good vibe about everything when at a bar unless someone fucks with me. So we decide to hit the outside bar. Just about completely dead. thank god. So the girl at the bar is a bit apprehensive to say the least, so she goes to talk to some guy. Kyle? Buck? I forget but I'm pretty sure it's clint black's brother, because he owns the bar. He gives the ok me and dad show our IDs... Oh also I forgot to mention I'm not 21 yet, but I can drink with a parent with me. So she comes back and says she's from California and you can't do that here. I get my beer. My dad's friend Seth comes up to get a beer, refuses to pay and says I'll do it. Dad says he should buy our beer, they go back and forth so I finally look at seth and tell him "Alright seth, I'll buy your beer, but you have to leave a $5 tip!" (his beer was $2.50) so he finally pays up for his beer. I take a few sips nervously follow dad around and dad finally demands seth buy him a beer. Seth finally agrees. Seth apparently comes here quite a bit, he knows just about everyone(Except for the out of towners) and says he can get us a beer inside and we won't have to wait in line, he's smoothe like that in "his bar" so we follow him inside, he apparently DOES have to wait in line and he gets us a beer after a bit. I thought he was buying my dad a beer, but he bought me one too, hands it to me while I still have a pretty much full beer and says I'll buy next round. thats only fair right? so I agree. Dad says we should go outside where its not so loud, I agree. I was tired of having the cowboy stares seer in to me with ever passing second. So I see a path in the crowed and pass through suprisingly easy, make it outside and immediately notice a cop car parked in the lot to my right with it's lights on, so I quickly turn around to get close to dad incase they come over, but dad wasn't there. This whole time I'm standing there I have two beers, one in each hand. Even though this was my first and second beer I was holding, it didn't look good. I looked like I was ready to get drunk. and would they really believe I was buying someone a beer? at that my ID says I'm 20 and on top of that I've shaved, I don't even have a 5 o clock shadow and I look 14.

[Here's where it gets good]

So I wait around for a minute or two, swore I heard a car door so I decide to venture back in. It probably looked like I was looking for someone to dance with or a girl to hit on the way I was violently scanning the room, but I was just looking for my dad. I glance to where his co worker was, I glance to the pool table, I glance to the bar, no where. 'Till finally I think I hear his voice, I look over he's on a little secluded platform about a 4 feet off the ground at a table that I didn't know was there. I go up, He ran in to a girl my mom and him had met, so I introduce myself and sit down. We talk for a few minutes and her husband comes up. Apparently she had been telling him about my parents. She turns to him and says "Look! Dreadlocks" while loosely playing with them, he glances and says something like "Right on". I take a few nervous sips of my beer, desperately trying for the area of drunk where awkward silences aren't awkward and you don't mind holding a conversation with a completely stranger. He turns to me and asks me, quite literally "So are you his wife?" I turn back to him so he could see my face and state "No, I'm not" Am I his wife? I knew I shouldn't have fuckin shaved god damn it. Wait does my father really look like someone who would be married to a girl with dreads? Uhg I can't imagine my mom with dreads, My dad maybe, my sister's, of course, but my mom? no. -sip- So after that pause and though, I turn back to him, lean in and say "I'm his son." A little more stern and with a touch of highly annoyed, than I was going for. So he pauses and then says "Oh shit man, I'm so sorry dude, I didn't even notice, she was just telling me about your mom a few days ago and I assumed your dad was here with your mom" he nervously laughs and appologizes again and then asks me if I need a beer I always need a free beer, who doesn't? "Yeah man, I could use a beer" So he goes to get one and I lean over to my dad to tell him "Damn dad, I haven't been called a girl in like 9, 10 years! that was nuts!" to which he responds "You weren't called a girl, a woman even, you were called my wife." My dad seemed a touch annoyed also.

After that, We got our beers, he refused to let us buy him one and got beers the entire night. I wandered out back where it was even more quiet than out front, which was nice. We were talking about various shit, he basically just wanted my dad to get him a Job with the electric co-op, but the conversations weren't completely bad. His wife finished dancing and came out to join us and we all started talking again.

Then comes this "Cowboy" He was shirtless if I recall, he didn't have a cowboy hat, I don't recall seeing a red neck, but you could tell he was a cowboy, or wanted to be one. He damn sure was a ruffian of sorts. The husband, who I can't remember the name. Jim? Jeff? Jason? something with J I believe, it was on his shirt, but I can't picture it. It seemed like he knew him so I was kind of relieved. He brought out 5 beers set them all down, said he bought us a round and asked for a cigarette, quite desperately I might add. I guess he already knew the vending machine with the cigs was broken. My dad gives him one and he proceeds to have the oddest conversation of the night with us.

Cowboy: So you guys know any fine looking single women in there?
Me: Nah but I'm sure you can find some in there if you look, I've sent a few rowdy girls here that were out of towners looking to dance and have a good time
Dad: Yeah I bet you could
Cowboy: Yeah, but my wife's in there So I can't go prowl around you guys.
Me: Ooooo
Dad: God damn son, haven't you ever heard the saying don't shit in your own back yard?
Cowboy: Yeah, Mah grandpa told me that, but my grandpa told me alot of things. My grandpa always told me fat gals have tight pussy's
I always heard fat chicks give great head and can swallow a dick like no ones business...
Cowboy: My grandpa also told me you could stick alot of meat in the grand canyon and that would be damn tight too!

A few nervous worried freaked out laughs occurred then he went back inside.

A bit after the place was closing, thankfully we were one of the last to get asked to leave since we were hiding in the back, I chugged my beer was forced to leave another dos equise to get dumped and we left.